THE HEART OF THE JEDI

 

EVENING FALLS

by Martina

 Disclaimer: The people and situations used in this fic are the property of George Lucas and Lucasfilm Ltd. 

This chapter NC-13

 

The sun was setting over Yavin 4 as Luke began the final descent to the main

hangar of the Jedi Academy. The landing of the X-wing fighter, just as the

rest of the journey from Coruscant, went smoothly.

Luke shut down the engines while R2 was already making his way out of his

astromech socket. He felt very tired. But not from the journey or the coming

of night. He mostly felt disappointed. Disappointed with himself because he

had let Mara slip from his fingers like that.

He had been, ever since he had left Mara’s apartment, trying to convince

himself that what had taken place was the best for everyone. His friendship

with her was not threatened because he had never uttered a word about his

feelings for her. And by doing so, he had not betrayed Lando’s trust in him

either.

But all this came at the prize of his broken heart.

But his feelings for Mara were far from being Luke’s only problem. The

spirit of Palpatine on the Moon of Endor had not disappeared only because he

had finally opened his eyes to how he felt about the red-haired beauty. And

Luke had to find a solution to this danger – he intended to do so this very

night.

He wished, though, to never have discovered these new feelings for Mara.

At least not now.

He welcomed them, of course. But at the same time, they couldn’t have

arrived at a more inappropriate time. Palpatine was a serious threat that

should occupy all his waking hours and attention. But despite all his

training and discipline, no matter how much Luke tried to concentrate on his

nemesis, his thoughts constantly kept returning to Mara.

He must stop thinking about her!

All the lives of the galaxy were in danger and still all he could think of

was that the woman he recently had realized he was in love with could very

shortly be in the arms of another man. A man that was one of his best

friends and a man that – as Luke knew – would never be loved by this woman.

Or would Lando receive Mara’s love?

How could he even think in these terms? To think of all these ridiculous

questions?

Was he really so desperate?

Was he truly so lonely?

Luke had considered the possibility that the emptiness left behind by

Callista was the reason why he was drawn to Mara. It was not impossible.

Mara was, just like himself, not committed to anyone. In fact, ever since

she had seized being the Emperor’s Hand, she had not been bound to anyone.

Not even to Karrde, really. That had strictly been a working and friendly

relationship. One that, on the working level, was not as tight anymore as it

used to be.

Still, Luke felt deep down that his loneliness alone was not the answer. It

was too simple and a bad excuse. Yes, he was feeling more and more alone as

the years passed. But he was not desperate to the point of using Mara as a

means to fill the gap left behind by Callista. If that was the case, he

would never forgive himself.

He could not believe – if that was true – that he could have become so

pathetic.

No, what he felt for Mara was deep, true love. Luke knew that now. It was

not something temporary that would pass with time. And the more he thought

about it the more he realized that he had always felt like this for her.

Even as far back as when Callista had still been in his life.

Luke couldn’t allow Mara to occupy his thoughts now, though. The New

Republic was counting on him to find a solution to stop Palpatine’s plans.

Their united support demanded that he find a solution and that he work

endlessly until he had found one. His solitude did not matter as far as

politics and the protection of the galaxy were concerned.

Mara simply had to wait.

Luke just wished that he were not as curious as to how the dinner between

her and Lando would go. Would she decline his proposal?

Or would she accept?

It felt good to stand on solid floor again after the flight. Luke rubbed

some of the fatigue from his eyes before he pulled off the orange pilot

suit. In high contrast, the black fabric of his Jedi uniform underneath

shone brightly, almost as if it were light itself.

Being just as deeply in contrast, the hangar at the Jedi Academy was very

quiet compared to the forever busy traffic of Coruscant. At this late time

of day, all that was moving were some maintenance droids doing checkups on

the Republican and the students’ ships. All the pilots were either going to

sleep or socialising or making some final Jedi exercises before turning in

for the night.

The moon of Yavin 4 was a very quiet place. Not quiet in the sense that

there was no life – the jungle that covered the whole moon contained more

life forms than the whole of Coruscant. But it didn’t at all contain the

modern and busy life of the core worlds. Yavin 4 was out in the middle of

nowhere. And that was why Luke loved this place. It was secluded but not

unreachable.

It was the most ideal place for a Jedi Academy.

A ship known as the Raven’s Claw caught his attention for the moment. Luke

sensed that Kyle Katarn was not with his ship, though. He couldn’t see

Kyle’s lovely wife, Jan, either. They had to be at their quarters in the

Great Temple like the rest of the people that lived here. It pleased him,

though, that the Katarn’s had decided to interrupt their journey and return

to the Academy a little sooner than planned. He may come to need Kyle’s

skills very soon.

Luke recognised many other ships as well that belonged to his fellow Jedi –

they had to have returned to the Academy only recently. The message he had

asked Master Solusar to send to all Jedi living and working on different

assignments across the galaxy seemed to have gone out as he had hoped. His

fellow Jedi had done well.

And tomorrow they would all learn everything about what they were all about

to face.

Luke knew that they could all sense that he had arrived. But at this time of

day, he did not expect a welcome committee. He was never into such kind of

attention anyway, he never had been. Besides, he wanted to seek his answers

before he briefed the others the next morning. The sooner the better. He

wanted to have as much information as possible by the time he addressed all

the other Jedi and students.

And this time of day at the Academy was usually the calmest moment to do so.

Perfect.

Right now, Luke wanted to be alone.

For several reasons.

With R2 following close by his side, Luke made his way out of the hangar and

into the Academy grounds. An exit appeared before them and they reached what

was known as the Main Yard, a big open space between the Massassi Temples.

Some vegetation was growing among the debris of ruined material. Luke wanted

to let Nature grow freely all over the Academy. This was a place that

celebrated life. Vegetation was as much welcome here as all organic life

forms. To learn respect towards nature was part of every student’s training.

Therefore, no cutting or trimming of the vegetation took place here unless

it was absolutely necessary.

The Main Yard was a popular place for outside lightsaber practice, since

there was so much free space available right at the heart of the Academy.

Otherwise, for the beginners, such training usually took place indoors in

specially prepared chambers. For safety’s sake.

Right ahead was the largest pyramid of them all, the Great Temple. That was

his and R2’s destination. Luke felt very keen on getting to work. As much as

he had loved to spend time with his family as well as Mara lately, it felt

as if he had spent too much valuable time on his personal life while his

responsibilities as Jedi had been forced to take a step back. With the

exception of his report to the government, it had been years since last he

had spent his time on other activities than work, even if it had only been a

few days during a two week period.

But this time, even a few days could cost dearly.

As he and R2 made their way over the yard towards the temple, Luke suddenly

slowed his pace. A presence, out of the many he sensed here, felt nearer

than the rest of them. But that was not all.

He could also hear her.

It was the most beautiful of voices Luke had ever known. So soft and tender

that it could bring anyone to tears when she was singing.

And she was singing.

As if her voice kept him under a spell, Luke walked as if in a trance

towards the source, which was next to the main entrance of the Great Temple.

And there, on one of the steps of the pyramid a few meters above his head,

she sat, gazing up to the stars.

Luke stopped a few meters away. The last thing he wanted was to interfere

with what she was doing. He was so happy to see her, her presence was always

soothing. She was known to have that effect on practically anyone. Some of

the other Jedi had even called her a wonder of the Force itself. Luke agreed

with that. This gentle and talented woman was the living proof of the

beautiful sounds the Force could create when it chose to.

And now he wanted to hear her song.

Luke stood in silence and let her voice embrace him in a sweet intoxication.

He knew that she was fully aware of his presence even though she wasn’t

looking in his direction. She rarely ever missed to welcome him home from

any kind of journey, no matter how long or short a time he had been absent.

The words she sang made it immediately into his mind and heart. Somehow, her

songs always found their way into his current situation. And Luke was not

the only one who felt this way about her special ability. An ability he had

not the talent to use himself. But at least knew how to appreciate greatly.

Her white dress and white, long hair that fell freely down across her back

and shoulders almost made her luminous in the coming darkness of the night

around them. She was just as magical as the beauty of her voice.

She was one of his closest teaching assistants here at the Academy and had

been one of his very first students, now a Jedi Knight in her own right. She

was also one of his dearest friends.

Now his dear friend was singing to him.

And for him alone, to his honour.

The forever beautiful Tionne.

When the evening falls and the daylight is fading,

from within me calls – could it be I am sleeping?

For a moment I stray, then it holds me completely.

Close to home – I cannot say.

Close to home – feeling so far away.

As I walk the road there before me a shadow

from another world, where no other can follow.

Carry me to my own, to where I can cross over.

Close to home – I cannot say.

Close to home – feeling so far away.

Forever searching; never right,

I am lost in oceans of night.

Forever hoping I can find memories.

Those memories I left behind.

Even though I leave will I go on believing

that this time is real – am I lost in this feeling?

Like a child passing through, never knowing the reason.

I am home – I know the way.

I am home – feeling oh, so far away.

A teardrop fell slowly down his cheek. Once again, Tionne’s beautiful talent

had touched the core of his soul. Luke didn’t bother to wipe it away as she

slowly turned her head to look at him. This had not been the first time her

singing had moved him to tears.

And it would not be the last time either.

- “That was so beautiful!” Luke stated. - “I’ve never heard this one before,

is it new?”

A smile appeared on her fair face. Luke was always among the first to praise

her for her work in music. It was no wonder that this particular song, like

so many of her songs and melodies, were composed in his honour or with him

as her inspiration.

- “I finished it this morning. While I was waiting for you, I decided to

sing it.”

Even her normal speech sounded like music. She was like a voice from a fairy

tale. So was almost everything she did.

Tionne served mostly as the Academy’s librarian, historian and story teller

as well as musician. She held classes in the ways of the Force herself and

often by means of music. Every song and poem she wrote and composed, she

performed herself.

Through her songs and lyrics she explained the ways of the Jedi and the

ordeals of the Jedi before their time. She used music itself as emotional

and spiritual means to reach out and listen to the Force. And to help the

students understand what the Force was telling them.

Being a Jedi meant so much more than moving objects with your mind and to be

skilled with the lightsaber. After a session with Tionne, anyone could

understand that. She was one of the most successful instructors when it came

to help the students to find peace and harmony within themselves. And Luke

constantly made sure to let her know how much he appreciated her help. As he

once had learned from the old Jedi woman Vima Da Boda before she had passed

away; all Jedi are special.

Tionne was indeed very special.

Tionne was very aware of Luke’s confidence in her and her special talents.

And she would always continue to help him in his struggle to make sure that

the Jedi would rise again. It was her duty and responsibility to assist him.

All of the Jedi Knights that instructed in the ways of the Force in one form

or another at the Academy carried the title of Master. Tionne did, too. But

in her mind, as well as in the minds of all the others, there was only one

true Jedi Master at the Jedi Academy and in the whole galaxy – the Jedi

Master that had once instructed her. The Jedi Master that had instructed

them all. The Jedi that was a Master not merely because he instructed in the

ways of the Force, but because his powers and his knowledge were greater

than those of any other Jedi living today.

He was impossible to replace.

Luke Skywalker was the backbone of the Jedi Academy.

Its heart and soul.

The least Tionne could do for her Master was to assist him in his life’s

quest to guarantee the return of the Jedi.

She slowly rose to her feet. Tall and graceful, she walked down the steps to

her friend and Jedi Master.

- “Welcome home, Master Skywalker.”

The two Jedi took hold of each other’s hands in greeting, allowing the Force

to embrace them and unite them in their friendship.

- “Thank you, Tionne. And how have things been here while I was away?”

- “As usual. Everything is under control and the students are working hard,”

she answered and her pearl white, gentle eyes focused intensely upon him. -

“We have still missed you, though.”

- “It’s good to be missed,” Luke replied.

The gentleness in her eyes suddenly seemed to draw away to make room for

seriousness.

- “After receiving your last message we did as you instructed, Master,” she

explained while they made their way into the Great Temple with R2 following

close behind. - “Kam, Streen and I have been busy calling as many Jedi as we

could get in touch with and told them to return to the Academy by tomorrow.

We’ve also contacted Dathomir, The Royal House on Hapes and all other worlds

where we have contact with our own.”

Luke nodded, feeling pleased with his fellow Jedi’s help.

- “Very good. I noticed when I arrived that Kyle Katarn is here now, too.”

- “Yes, he is. He and Jan arrived earlier today.”

A smile appeared on the Jedi Master’s face. It had been a while since he had

last seen Kyle and, even if these uncertain times were the reason for Katarn

to return to the Academy, Luke was very much looking forward to seeing his

mercenary friend of a Jedi again. Like so many here, Kyle had gone from an

uncertain path to great mastery within the Force. Kyle was a Jedi instructor

now, too.

It was no easy task to make contact with all of their kind that had begun

spreading across the galaxy. Most of them were stationed here at Yavin 4,

but for the most part only during their time in training. Only few remained

to teach, the rest lived their lives elsewhere, doing what they had been

trained to do. If they were to protect the galaxy, they couldn’t all remain

at their home base.

It was also a matter of security. The Academy had been under attack before,

both from Imperials as well as from Dark Siders. If they were spread out,

the chance that the Jedi would survive was greater, no matter what happened.

Being spread out meant quicker access to worlds that might be in trouble,

too.

Most of the Jedi who left after their training stayed in contact. Their

constant network was essential if they were to do their duty as Keepers of

the Peace. It also helped them to keep an eye on each other and to make sure

that everyone was doing alright.

Because not everyone who had left the Academy had been doing alright.

Some had left to never be seen again. There was really nothing more they

could do than hope that they were fine no matter to where they had went and

for whatever reasons. The simple fact that you owned the power of the Force

was never a guarantee that you would succeed as a Jedi.

Some who had disappeared had reappeared again, as Dark Jedi, consumed by the

promises of the Dark Side – the likes of Kueller, Brackiss and Desann. The

only thing that remained to be done if you ever confronted one of them was

to either try to help them return to the Light or to fight them.

Unfortunately, they always seemed to choose to fight instead of asking for

help.

Even inside the temple, the hot and moist air made Luke start to sweat

underneath his black uniform. It was beginning to show that he had been away

from home for a while; his body always reacted to the moon’s moisture when

he returned after a longer absence.

He threw a quick glance at Tionne walking by his right and wished he were as

lightly clothed as she was right. Heat itself had never bothered him; the

deserts of Tatooine in his youth had made sure of that. But the combination

of heat and moisture still felt unfamiliar, even after all the years he had

spent on Yavin 4. It was as if his body simply refused to adapt. Back home

on Tatooine, to find moisture had been a blessing. Here it was almost like a

curse. It was everywhere.

Still, he’d rather lose his other and remaining hand as well as that he

would complain about it openly. A Jedi never complained about physical

conditions that weren’t life threatening. A Jedi adapted. If not in body,

then at least in mind.

- “Master… Forgive my impatience…”

They had walked in silence for several minutes. Judging by the way Tionne

seemed hesitant, whatever was on her mind must have been there even before

he had arrived. And she usually wasn’t the one to feel reluctant about

asking him something or about speaking her mind. Unless it was of some

importance.

And, in Tionne’s case, of emotional importance.

- “What is it, Tionne?” Luke asked. Her hesitation withdrew as she was given

permission to speak her mind, yet it was somehow still present in her soft

voice as she spoke.

- “It is most unusual that we keep the reasons and most of all the results

of our missions top secret amongst ourselves. As is that you have informed

the New Republic of your findings on the Moon of Endor before us. All the

Jedi we have asked to return to the Academy are asking why. And so do all of

us here as well.”

That there would be such questions among the Jedi Luke had expected all

along. He had only notified his friends that he would go to Endor to

investigate what was causing his nightmares. He had also informed them of

his return to Coruscant. But not a word of what he had discovered there

between.

Otherwise, not reporting in did not belong to standard procedure. It was

Luke himself who had put up the basic rule that all Jedi on missions should

stay in contact at all times with either the Academy or with other Jedi or

the New Republic, in case something went wrong or needed to be reported.

That Master Skywalker himself had deviated from the basic rules he had

personally set up must be followed by an explanation why he had done so. It

was that explanation everyone was hoping to receive the next day.

- “I understand,” Luke stated. - “The necessity to handle this matter in

this discrete a fashion and to alert the New Republic as soon as possible in

person became obvious to me because of what I’ve discovered on Endor.”

He didn’t like breaking his own rules. Rules – even if they could be bent

every now and then – were meant to be followed. Otherwise the very existence

of the rule was useless. This time, though, he had had no choice. He simply

did not trust even the most secure links of communication for what he had

found on Endor.

- “Palpatine?”

He came to a halt.

Slowly, Luke turned to look at Tionne. He gasped silently.

How did she know?

Even know enough to make such a lucky guess!?

Palpatine had been presumed dead for a little more than eight years, there

was no reason for anyone to assume that he was the new threat. And there

could not have been a slip in the communication; Luke had taken good care to

not even mention the slightest indication of Palpatine over the Net when he

had divulged the little he had been forced to share. And it could not be

that she had received the information from someone else – Tionne would not

have mentioned his secrecy in this matter if she had received the

information that way.

Looking into her pearl white eyes and reading her mind carefully, Luke

realized that her source of information did not come from outside. It came

from within. Thinking back to her words of her new song, it became more

obvious to Luke that the return of Palpatine seemed to have found its way

into her lyrics as well. And the lyrics of Tionne’s songs always came from

the Force itself.

Somehow, even if she didn’t seem to understand the source, she knew.

Tionne had trembled when she had spoken that name from the past. And she

trembled even more when she saw her Master’s reaction to her mention of that

name. It was such a reaction of him that she had dreaded. But it did not

really surprise her either. Luke was not the only one close to her that

always reacted strongly to the name of Palpatine.

- “It was but a wild guess, a logical speculation on Kam’s part,” she

explained. - “He suspected it could be him shortly after you told us of your

sudden nightmares and why you were going to Endor.”

Tionne paused. She was an emotional woman, yet she seldom shed any tears.

Right now, though, she could barely contain them. She feared the

consequences of what she was saying on her Master’s behalf. And even more so

did she fear what it meant for her beloved husband.

- “But this is more than a lucky guess on Kam’s part, isn’t it?” she finally

managed to say. Luke answered her by merely nodding his head slowly,

confirming her own and her husband’s speculation.

Tionne was stunned. For nearly two weeks she had been living with this

possibility as Kam had given her more and more reasons to believe it. Her

Master’s silence during his mission had increased her and her husband’s

suspicion as well.

Still, she had not wanted to believe it. Not that it could be this bad. She

had wanted another explanation, no matter what it was – anything but

Palpatine.

But her hopes for the opposite were in vain. And right now, her Master

confirmed it to her silently. The honesty in his blue eyes was the greatest

confirmation of all.

- “By the Force..!” she gasped. - “He’s alive!”

Luke immediately realized how precarious the situation had suddenly become.

If Kam and Tionne had been able to figure it out, could there be more who

had been able to do so? What exactly had circled among the Jedi at the

Academy during his absence?

- “Has Kam spoken to anyone else about his speculation?” he asked.

- “No, he hasn’t.”

Tionne did not lie. She never lied. And there was no hint or indication in

either her voice, her eyes or in her mind that she did either.

- “Good. And I wish that we keep it that way for now,” Luke explained

carefully. - “I don’t want any rumours to circulate. I will brief you with

all I know tomorrow”.

He put his right hand on her shoulder.

- “Until then, please do not speak of this,” Luke requested. - “Except that

you may, of course, confirm your husband’s suspicions to him. But keep it to

yourselves for now. Hopefully, by tomorrow, I may bring some answers.”

Tionne nodded, even if her worry didn’t seem less than before.

- “Yes, Master.”

They continued their walk at a somewhat slower pace.

- “Aside from all their questions, what has been everyone’s reaction?” Luke

asked her with great interest. He had the feeling that he needed to learn

more of what had been happening during his absence.

Her face seemed to become even more concerned, an expression Luke wasn’t

used to seeing in Tionne.

- “The students are very nervous,” she explained and her soft voice didn’t

sound as inspiring as it used to be. - “And to be fully honest, Master, so

are the rest of us. Everyone has sensed the seriousness of this matter. Why

else would you not be able to tell us over comlink what you found on Endor?”

Luke nodded.

- “I don’t blame you,” he mumbled.

Always aware of all kinds of sounds, Tionne noticed her Master’s tone of

voice and she shared his worry. Still, she wanted to assure him that they

were certainly not about to lose hope.

- “But the secrecy of your mission hasn’t only had a negative effect around

here, on the contrary,” she explained. - “The students may be nervous but

their determination to never give in is only stronger. This latest threat

seems to inspire everyone to do even better and to learn even more, Jedi and

students alike.”

Her voice suddenly became stronger.

- “Kam has started to train very hard with his lightsaber.”

This news puzzled the Jedi Master.

- “Kam? Why? His skills are already excellent.”

- “You try to tell him that, Master!” Tionne said with growing concern. -

“And this is no regular training, it is obsessive! I can’t make him stop.

He’s been at it non-stop ever since you gave us our latest instructions. He

has been feeling very uneasy ever since you left for Endor. Something has

been bothering him.”

Luke’s eyes widened.

- “Nightmares?”

Could this actually be of greater proportions than he had anticipated at

first? After all, both Mara and little Anakin had received their share of

nightmares as well.

Had even more Jedi been affected?

Tionne nodded slowly.

- “Yes. And he can suddenly hear the whispers of the Dark Side a lot

clearer, even if they whisper in vain.”

She sighed deeply.

- “Kam tries to be brave and convince me that his recent lightsaber training

is just a guarantee for him to not get rusty. But once he shared his

nightmares with me I knew something is not right.”

Luke shared her concern. Kam Solusar was an excellent and skilled Jedi

Knight, with the lovely mix of both wisdom and spontaneity. Even if Kam was

a few years older than him, he still reminded Luke of himself when he was

younger.

Luke understood that there was a hidden fear behind Kam’s reactions. He,

too, had once been one of Palpatine’s henchmen. That was probably what Luke

and Kam shared the most, the experience of being a Dark Jedi under

Palpatine’s tutelage and they both understood perfectly what the other had

gone through.

In fact, Kam was probably the one who understood that part of Luke’s life

better than anyone else.

And therefore, Luke realized the real reason behind Kam’s sudden obsessive

lightsaber training. Kam refused to serve Palpatine again. Fear always had a

nasty habit to appear when you only saw the threat but no means to defend

yourself.

In a way, Luke felt the same fear and determination as well. He made a note

to himself to talk to Kam about this as soon as possible, to soothe his

friend’s fear as much as he could. It was perfectly alright to practice your

skills with the lightsaber, but never for the wrong reasons.

Fear was always the wrong reason for a Jedi.

Luke also took notice of Tionne’s way of speaking of Kam. It always warmed

his heart. Even now that she was worrying for him, she spoke of him with

love. She and Kam had been married for some time now. Just seeing them

together made Luke share their happiness.

But since his recent discoveries of his newly discovered feelings for Mara,

Tionne and Kam’s relationship suddenly took on a different and deeper

meaning than before.

Walking next to Tionne now suddenly made Luke realize how fortunate both she

and Kam were. They had openly admitted their love to each other a long time

ago. And their love was thriving.

Whatever it was he shared with Mara, and Luke wasn’t very sure what exactly

it was anymore, it had been standing still and remained the same from day

one.

Up until now.

Images of Mara flashed through his head again. He mustn’t let himself be

distracted by her! But it was nearly impossible for his heart to understand

that.

- “Kam isn’t the only one that has acted a bit strange lately,” Tionne

continued. - “When we finally managed to get a hold of Kyp he immediately

decided to head back as soon as possible. He said that he, too, has recently

had some bad feelings. And some bad dreams as well. We told him that he

needn’t return right away if he was still needed where he was and that we

could inform him of the situation upon his scheduled return, but he

insisted. He’ll be back by tomorrow.”

Once more, Luke merely nodded. He was not the least bit surprised.

It seemed that all Jedi that had had some kind of Dark Side experience had

reacted to and sensed Palpatine’s return the most and strongest. Nightmares,

bad feelings, creepy sensations. The Force was trying to tell them what was

happening.

Trying to warn them.

And that Kyp belonged to this group of Jedi that had shown a reaction came

as no surprise at all. It made perfect sense.

Kyp Durron had indeed grown in the ways of the Force a lot since he almost

had fallen to the Dark Side. Many years had passed since then and Kyp was

now one of the most skilled Jedi in battle that the Academy could offer.

Still, even after all this time, Kyp seemed desperately determined to make

up for what he once had caused.

In particular to Luke personally.

Luke had tried to tell him that such personal dedication wasn’t necessary at

all. But he knew himself how difficult it was to get rid of guilt once it

had attached itself to you. Kyp remained very loyal and dedicated to the

Force and to the Academy. And most of all to Luke, whom Kyp deeply

respected. He was still the rebel among the Jedi, but Luke saw that as a

benefit in the young man. And Luke was very proud of his former student. The

student that now had earned the rank of Master.

- “In short, everyone seems ready to do whatever is necessary in these

approaching trials, whatever they might be,” Tionne concluded.

- “Let’s hope that it won’t come to that,” Luke mumbled.

They reached the turbo lift and waited for it to arrive.

Luke rubbed his eyes again. Why did he feel so tired? It was no normal

fatigue. It existed only in his mind, upon his constantly heavy

responsibility and in his lonely soul.

The doors to the lift opened and all three stepped inside.

His state must have appeared clearer on his face than Luke would have

wished. Tionne noticed that something was not as it was meant to be. She

placed her hand gently upon his shoulder.

- “Are you all right, Master?”

Luke actually jerked at her unexpected touch, having his thoughts elsewhere.

- “Oh yes, I’m fine,” he replied, but immediately felt uncomfortable with

his own answer. He wasn’t lying, but he wasn’t entirely honest either. Luke

never felt comfortable when he was lying, especially not to this kind woman.

- “But you seem a little sad,” Tionne insisted. - “Is there something else

besides Palpatine that’s troubling you?”

She could not have been more accurate.

Luke turned to look at her. Tionne sure was as bright as she was beautiful.

No wonder that Kam was so deeply attracted to her. She was the kind of woman

you could confide into without having to worry.

Still, Luke knew he had to keep his feelings for Mara secret. Leia was

right, if it came out that something was going on between the Jedi Master

and the former Emperor’s Hand, all hell would break out in some circles.

Normally Luke couldn’t care less if it actually did, many senators and

government leaders needed to be shaken back into reality for a while from

time to time. But now, out of all times, was not the time for this. Besides,

there wasn’t anything going on between himself and Mara!

So why did he feel this way about her?

No, he was fooling himself. His feelings didn’t come out of nowhere. And all

feelings, good or bad, always meant something.

They reached the level of Luke’s living quarters. They still remained inside

the lift for a moment, though, despite the fact that the doors had opened.

Gazing into Tionne’s innocent white eyes compelled him to at least admit

something. And Luke needed to talk desperately.

- “Yes, there is another matter, besides Palpatine,” he confessed and

stepped out of the lift, as if he was partly regretting that he had said

anything at all. Both Tionne and R2 followed him closely. Luke stopped and

turned to her.

- “Something has happened to me recently, something I never expected would

happen to me again.”

In a way it felt overwhelming to say those words. Yes, he had truly fallen

in love, something he had been close to promise himself to never do again.

Love always seemed to punish him rather than reward him, yet he continued to

grasp for it like a hungry animal searching for food.

- “But when I finally realized what I had I let it slip from my fingers,” he

went on and shook his head to himself. - “I know I should do something about

it but that would make things only worse and…”

Luke gazed back into Tionne’s eyes. So gentle, so innocent, so

understanding. And now also filled with pity for her friend. He was speaking

in riddles, yet he had the feeling that Tionne knew what he was talking

about, only not whom he was referring to.

- “I’ve recently both found and lost someone dear to me,” he concluded and

his eyes dropped. R2 gave a small serenade of wonder, not understanding why

his Master seemed so down all of a sudden.

Luke hadn’t realized it, but his words had been like a cry for help. Help to

make him understand himself; help to ease the ache in his heart. Tionne was

no stranger to see despair in her Jedi Master’s eyes. She had known Luke

long enough to witness him go through one painful ordeal after another. And

it hurt her deeply every time she saw him like this.

- “What can I do?” she wondered and stepped closer to him, placing her hands

on his shoulders. - “You know I’ll do anything in my power for you.”

Hearing such words spoken by her melodic voice moved him deeply. Luke knew

he had done the right thing by confessing this much to her. He gave her a

slight smile.

- “I know,” he said and placed his hand upon hers as it caressed one of his

shoulders. - “But there’s really nothing you can do for me, Tionne. If there

was, I would let you.”

Her white eyes widened. Luke rarely, if ever, allowed anyone to help him in

situations like this, even if they could do something to help him. She

realized that this was more than the ordinary.

- “I’m sorry,” she said with sympathy. - “Whoever she is she doesn’t realize

the precious thing she is missing.”

It took a few seconds before the full impact of her words was made clear to

him. A little stunned by her bright insight as well as her warm compliment,

Luke stared at her. He had suspected that she understood, but not that she

understood that much.

- “How do you…?”

But Tionne didn’t need to provide him with an answer to that. Her eyes told

Luke everything he needed. She had early in their conversation realized that

he had lost his heart to a woman, a woman that apparently didn’t have the

means to appreciate him enough.

Her white eyes also assured him that she was not looking for any further

details, unless he wished to tell her. She would never pressure him into

revealing anything.

She said nothing as she slowly slipped her arms around him in comfort.

Without any protest, Luke gratefully accepted his friend into his arms and

embraced her in return. They held each other close in silence, as the good

friends they were. Tionne’s comfort couldn’t have been given to him at a

more appropriate time.

- “Thank you,” Luke mumbled and pulled her even closer to himself. He had

many more reasons still to show his respect and gratitude to her in return.

And Tionne had always been good at foreseeing exactly when he was in need of

comfort from a friend.

- “It’s all so very complicated,” he continued.

- “It usually is,” Tionne stated and faced him. Both couldn’t hold back the

smile. Things always turned out to be complicated in Luke Skywalker’s life.

- “Perhaps it’s not too late. One day this woman might come to you.”

Typically Tionne! When everybody else lost faith and hope, including Luke,

Tionne still clung to it.

- “Maybe…”

Luke truly wished that he could share his friend’s optimism in this matter.

But this time, Tionne had no idea who the woman in question was. Would her

hope remain if she knew it was Mara Jade?

Either way, Luke had no further time to waste on his personal problems. He

gently stepped away from the tall woman’s embrace.

- “Listen, I have further important things to do tonight,” he explained. -

“If anyone asks for me, inform them that I’ll be in the Holocron Chamber and

that I do not wish to be disturbed, unless there’s an emergency. I will meet

with everyone and brief you all tomorrow morning.”

- “As you wish,” Tionne said without any protest. Luke nodded gratefully,

for several reasons.

Then, as an afterthought, he met her eyes anew.

- “Tionne…”

Remembering how Mara’s presence had reduced the Dark images sent by

Palpatine, and how he had managed to do the same in return to her, Luke had

to tell Tionne of what he knew. Somehow, the bond shared with another Force

user seemed to keep the nightmares away. And if Kam suffered from them as

well, he and Tionne must be told.

- “Kam needs you,” he stated. - “If he indeed receives this evil imagery,

your love for him can help him resist it. Go to him.”

Tionne nodded slowly. She already knew of this. Her husband’s nightmares had

almost disappeared when he had shared them with her. And together they had

helped him keep them away.

- “I will, Master.”

Relived that she understood, Luke gave the tall Jedi woman a warm smile and

turned around to head for his quarters. He had some minor things to do

before he would get back to work. R2 followed right behind him.

He only got as far as a few paces before Luke heard her soft voice again.

- “It’s good to have you back with us, Luke.”

Tionne always referred to him as Master, no matter if others were present or

if they were alone. When she addressed him by his first name she was being

personal, far beyond all titles and Jedi duties. She was not addressing him

as his student and fellow Jedi now. The statement came from a friend.

Luke looked over his shoulder and gave her a smile.

- “It feels good being back,” he stated honestly. - “I’ll see you tomorrow

morning, Tionne. Good night.”

- “A good night to you, too, Luke.”

 

To be continued in: "Hand & Shadow"

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