THE HEART OF THE JEDI

 

WHATEVER YOU DECIDE TO DO

by Martina

 Disclaimer: The people and situations used in this fic are the property of George Lucas and Lucasfilm Ltd. 

This chapter NC-13

 

 

A warm smile spread across Leia’s face.

He was approaching.

She rose from her office chair and walked up to the door to await him. The

Force told her that he had just stepped out of the elevator and was moving

through the long corridor, approaching her office.

She had not expected him to come here; they had agreed to meet an hour later

at her quarters. But she was happy to see him nonetheless.

Before Luke was given the chance to even touch the door, she opened it for

him.

- “I sensed that you were coming,” Leia stated. The loving smile in her

pretty face spread on to her twin as well.

- “May I come in?”

- “For you, brother, my door is always open.”

She stepped aside and offered him to enter.

- “You’re early, though,” she pointed out and shut the door behind them. -

“I thought we agreed to meet back home.”

- “Well, I wanted to see you sooner.”

- “Showing impatience today are we, Master Jedi?”

Both started to giggle. She was teasing him. Oh, how Leia loved to tease him

like that!

Luke made a quick sweep over the huge office of his sister but did not find

the one he had hoped to find.

- “Is Han not here? I tried to contact him at home but there was no answer.

I just wanted to say hi.”

- “I fear you have just missed him. Han is taking a little trip to Endor,”

Leia explained.

- “Oh?”

Luke wasn’t as surprised as he sounded. The only surprise he felt was that

Leia had acted so quickly about practically everything since he had set foot

back on Coruscant yesterday.

- “On your request or order?” he wondered.

- “Depends if you ask me or him,” Leia answered. - “I gave him, Chewie and

3PO the assignment to warn the Ewoks of Palpatine’s activities. They are

probably leaving Coruscant as we speak. No one is better suited than 3PO to

talk to the Ewoks and I thought it was for the best that Han gave him the

lift.”

- “Because no one else would agree to such an assignment,” Luke filled in.

The Jedi Master grinned. He could just imagine the look on his

brother-in-law’s face as Leia had presented this mission to him.

- “Han Solo, being the escort for C-3PO on a diplomatic security mission.

What has your husband done to receive your wrath, Leia?”

- “Cute, Luke,” the former Princess spat, even though she fully agreed with

her brother. - “True, Han wasn’t too happy about it.”

- “I bet.”

- “But since he could not give me a good argument not to go I asked him

politely to do this for me,” she went on. - “Besides, like you said, no one

else would have volunteered to fly 3PO back and forth. Fey’lya may believe

that Endor is not important enough but I certainly pay no attention to such

arrogance - nor did many others during the vote. The Ewoks must be warned;

they are our allies and are under the New Republic’s protection.”

- “You can still be cruel in your argumentations, Leia,” Luke stated. -

“Even if you did the right thing.”

Leia frowned slightly.

- “You’re sounding more and more like my adversaries in the Senate,” she

pointed out. - “It’s a shame they are not as sweet as you with equally

honourable intentions. We could use more people like you.”

The irony in the Jedi Master’s features disappeared. There it was again!

Leia never missed an opportunity, did she? Even though she had learned to do

it in a more and more discrete way. How long would she keep on dragging that

annoying matter up?

He was a Jedi, not a politician!

As so many times before, Luke ignored his irritation. His sister was the

last in the universe he wanted to be irritated with, and then add her

constant wish to merely do the right thing to the equation.

Still, the happy irony was immediately gone from his mind. Luke was very

serious instead.

- “You’ve warned Han of the Sith Apprentice at Endor?” he inquired. -

“Palpatine knows how much he means to both you and me.”

- “Luke, don’t worry,” Leia assured. - “Han and Chewie know everything, and

they promised me to be quick and not stay longer than necessary. And they

are not without Jedi protection.”

She grinned when she saw the surprise evolve in the Jedi Master’s face. She

was certainly no ignorant fool to let her husband off on a mission without

warning him of all the known dangers, and not without the perfect back-up at

their disposal.

This time, she had thought of everything.

- “As I got in touch with Wedge to let a couple of fighters from Rogue

Squadron serve as escort for the Falcon, he told me he could get in touch

with Corran in turn. He’s just returned from a mission. Corran will meet up

with them en route to Endor. He doesn’t know all that is going on yet, we

want as little information as possible spread over the communication

network. But Han will brief Corran of all that we know. And after this

mission, he will return to the Academy. Whatever he may have to report to

you, Corran will upon his return”.

The seriousness was still there. But it was now shared with huge gratitude.

And admiration for Leia’s quick thinking.

- “Thank you,” Luke said. - “Why did I not think of this?”

Leia approached him, caressing his face with her small hand. His eyes were

still somewhat dark.

- “Because you’re very tired, Luke. You’ve not slept properly for days.”

In the end, he was only human. The onslaughts from Palpatine surely had

taken its toll on her brother, as had been the intention behind them. And

when Luke, whatever the reason, couldn’t function properly, it was her duty

to step in for him. Which she had done today.

He had changed back to his usual, black uniform, with the grey robe hanging

over his shoulders. He must have hurried home to get the clothes he had worn

at the Senate earlier off as soon as possible. A pity, Leia thought. He

looked so smashing in those. He truly should consider wearing more colours

more often.

- “Can I get you anything?” she asked politely.

- “No, thanks,” he said. - “I just wanted to see you before I head back to

Yavin.”

Leia, too, was dressed differently, as Luke surely noticed. She had changed

from the very formal, white dress she had worn in the Senate to much more

comfortable and private clothes, very similar to what she had been wearing

when she had greeted him inside Calrissian’s hangar the day before. Except

that now the colours were all beige. And her long hair, for a change, hung

freely down her back.

She reminded him so much of how she had looked when she had come to try to

save him on Byss.

Even dressed this casually, Leia was a stunningly beautiful woman – a fact

that had never escaped even her brother. But the way her appearance reminded

him of those days nine years ago sent uncomfortable shivers down his spine.

Except for some minor details, Leia looked exactly as she had back then –

during that night.

That cursed, Force-forsaken night!

Luke quickly ignored those memories. He could not risk for Leia to pick up

on his disturbed feelings by accident. That was one thing he did not wish to

explain.

- “There’s much work to be done and Bodo Baas is the only one who might be

able to give me some answers to our problem,” he quickly continued. - “I

must talk to him as soon as possible.”

- “Speaking of that, I must say that you handled the briefing in the Senate

pretty well today,” Leia stated, changing the subject.

- “You really think so?”

Luke was doubtful while Leia had nothing but admiration for what he had

accomplished. She could not tell him enough how proud she was of him.

- “Never mind what some of them said, especially Fey’lya,” she said. -

“They’ve been at me, too, for years, because of my own Force potential.

Being a Jedi has a habit, unfortunately, to make people nervous. Especially

within political circles. Don’t let it get to you.”

- “I won’t,” Luke promised her. - “It’s not the first time I’m criticized

for my beliefs.”

Leia knew painfully well what the Jedi Master was referring to. She was in

the same situation as he was.

- “I’m afraid that the bond between the Jedi and the government is by far

not as strong nowadays as it once used to be, before the time of the

Empire,” she said. - “But the bond we do have is growing steadily. Most of

them know and support you since way back, especially the military and fleet

commanders. Like you once said yourself, the New Republic knows that they

need the Jedi. They are simply still uncertain of how great that need is.

That’s why they are testing you.”

- “I don’t blame them,” Luke stated. - “Not considering who I am and

everything I’ve been through.”

- “They are not afraid of you, Luke, if that is what you’re concerned about.

They just feel a bit of uncertainty. Their knowledge of the Jedi is still

limited. In time I’m sure that will change.”

Finally, a tiny smile began to emerge on the Jedi Master’s face again.

- “I believe so, too,” he agreed. - “But we can never expect anyone to share

our codes.”

- “No, we can’t. But still, you were good today.”

Luke shrugged and entered the office further, closing in on the large

windows that faced the magnificent view of Coruscant below.

- “I’m merely glad I didn’t disappoint you. I just did my job, Leia.”

- “I know. But perhaps you could do more.”

He stopped, facing her.

- “What do you mean?”

Slowly, Leia closed in on him. Her arms were crossed in front of her.

- “I’ve been giving this a lot of thought for some time. Maybe what Mon

Mothma once told you is right. Perhaps you should consider concentrating a

lot more on your political influence.”

The room suddenly fell completely silent, except for the heavy sigh that

escaped the Jedi Master. His blue eyes watched her as his disappointment

once more crawled out to the surface.

She truly could not leave it alone, could she!?

Luke broke his eye contact with her. He shook his head. How many times had

she brought this up? And during how many years? And what part of his

constant refusal was she unable to understand?

Why did she keep pressing? Leia knew how these conversations between them

usually ended. The siblings very rarely argued. But if it was one thing that

usually always ended up in disputes it was this very subject.

He had certainly not come here to fight with her.

All he had wanted was to see his sister before his departure for Yavin 4.

But Luke sensed that Leia would not let this drop, especially not after

their success in the Senate. She had been given new fuel for the fire. In

fact, he should have sensed this coming.

- “I knew you would confront me about this one day,” he said softly, still

not facing her but rather staring out the windows in front of him. - “I

would have preferred to not let it be this day.”

- “Luke, please don’t say no on an impulse,” Leia begged. He was being as

impossible as usual, it seemed.

- “Hear what I have to say.”

- “I already know what you’re going to say,” Luke stated, his irritation

clear in his tone of voice, not to mention in his eyes. - “And you should

know that I’m not interested.”

But Leia would not give it a rest so easily. If she had been that kind of

person, she would never have become the Chief of State.

- “Then why are you planning to create a Jedi Council?”

She was not going to let him off the hook so easily, that was plain obvious.

The really annoying thing was that they had already gone through this. Why

did she insist on doing it again?

- “Because it has become a necessity,” he declared, as he had to her a

couple of times already. - “The Jedi Order has grown and it needs a central

body of people both the Jedi and the common people can turn to for guidance.

And the more we spread throughout the galaxy, the more we need to keep an

eye on our own as well as others’ activities so we can truly be the

protective shield we are supposed to be.”

- “But if politics are of such unimportance to you, why have you

volunteered, then, to sit on this Council yourself?”

She refused to budge. Luke had to admit that even now he was a bit amazed by

how tough this small woman could be.

- “Because I have to,” he explained. - “I am the only existing Jedi Master

and the founder of the Academy. Besides, this is my idea. I have to be

involved.”

Her brown eyes showed no sign of change. He had told her these things many

times before; there was nothing new about it. Still, he refrained from

mentioning the real reason, his own and personal reason.

- “You want to make a difference,” she stated on his behalf. - “That’s why

you do this.”

Luke was not going to deny that.

- “Of course. But the Council is not meant to have one leader; the whole

body will make decisions as one. I am aware that my position as Jedi Master

gives me automatically a political influence. But, unlike you, I doubt I can

make much difference with it. I don’t have the skills.”

- “Don’t say that,” Leia begged. - “You have already accomplished so much.

You are the one who’s always encouraging people to listen to their

potentials.”

- “The Council will not intervene with the government’s standard

operations,” the Jedi Master stated firmly, annoyed by the fact that he had

to remind his sister of the things she already knew so well. - “We shall

concentrate on matters involving the Force. Being a politician is different

from being a Jedi.”

- “Are you really so sure about that?” Leia wondered. - “I am both.”

The room fell silent again.

Luke observed his sister. What she was wearing reminded a lot more of the

appearance of a female Jedi Knight than the one of a high New Republican

politician. But, most of the time, it was the other way around. And not

merely in appearance but even more in actions.

Leia was often mocked, especially by their Dark Side enemies, of the fact

that she was the daughter of Darth Vader but was rarely seen in action these

days. Some even suggested she could not even wield a lightsaber. And it was

the common belief that her training as a Jedi was still not completed.

If they only knew how wrong they all were!

But it wasn’t merely their ignorance that annoyed him. Leia herself was to

blame for this as well. She had chosen her path in life, just as he had

done. And even if their paths went side by side, it was not the same path.

But it could have been.

- “True,” Luke finally said. - “But your role as a Jedi has always been

suffering due to your role as a politician.”

Luke had not realized it when he had spoken, but his words hurt her.

Had she disappointed him?

Luke had always claimed that he wasn’t disappointed by her choice of

profession after the Civil War. But the way he was sounding made her

question that claim.

- “I hope your unwillingness to do this is not based on that I’ve chosen a

different path than you did,” she said, fighting back her feelings.

Nonetheless, her hurt hit him almost like a sledge-hammer. And it hit him

off-guard.

- “Leia..!?”

Her gaze remained hard, her body stature firm. She demanded, in silence, a

proper explanation from him and she wanted it immediately!

Luke swallowed. He knew his tongue had slipped but he had not meant it as

harshly as it had sounded.

- “I may have been a little disappointed because I know what a great Jedi

you could be if you put your mind into it,” he said honestly and slowly

stepped closer to her. - “In some areas you’ve even grown more powerful than

me.”

That was no lie.

That was what he and Leia had deliberately kept away from the rest of the

galaxy, including even their own family.

That was the fact that he had referred to.

- “I hope that fact remains between only you and me,” Leia reminded firmly.

Luke shook his head. She didn’t need to take this that far.

- “Don’t disappoint me by suggesting I would do anything otherwise, Leia. We

have an agreement regarding your Force potential and as long as we both find

it necessary it shall remain our secret, yours and mine alone.”

He sighed, trying to find the right way to put this.

- “But you can’t deny me to think of what you really could do but never do.

And, from a certain point of view, it’s a shame that such powers have never

fully awakened.”

- “You know my reasons,” Leia stated, still unmoving, as if she was soon

going to turn into a live statue.

- “Yes. And I agree with most of them.”

Luke approached her even further, stopping right in front of her.

- “I’ve always supported you, you know that,” he continued, praying to find

some way to make that hard gaze of hers go away. - “I may be your teacher

but I don’t make your decisions. And you keep amazing me, again and again,

with what a skilled politician you are. The New Republic couldn’t have asked

for a better Chief of State.”

He spoke the truth. Leia sensed it clearly from him.

And her cold gaze finally vanished when her brother placed his hands upon

her shoulders.

- “I hold no one dearer than you, my beloved sister. Why would I ever want

to punish you for choosing a different path than my own? You have

accomplished more than I could ever dream of. My unwillingness to get

engaged in politics is based on lack of interest. That’s all. It has nothing

to do with you personally.”

Her hurt anger pulled away. Why was she always such an expert to

misunderstand him at times? Why did the Force fail to correct her in time in

these sorts of moments?

Her gaze dropped. It was those innocent, blue eyes of his again.

- “I didn’t mean to doubt you…”

Luke knew that. He also knew that he and his sister were two of a kind, but

that didn’t mean they were exactly the same. Rather the opposite sides of

the same coin.

- “We live in different worlds, Leia,” he explained softly. - “We fight for

the same thing and we fight together. But in different ways. You find

yourself among those who make the decisions. I find myself among those who

carry those decisions out. That is the difference.”

She raised her eyes to him again.

- “It’s not that simple, and you know that,” she reminded. - “A Jedi is not

a soldier, he’s a guide. And you showed that very clearly today. Luke, you

did more than just being good at that meeting, you practically ruled it!

They tried to break you but had to bow to the facts. This time it’s you who

makes the decisions while the New Republic must follow them. You see? Your

political influence is there whether you like it or not.”

Luke felt compelled to concur with that.

- “I don’t mind being some sort of counsellor in matters that involve the

Force, that’s what I’m here for,” he said. - “But to enter the political

arena in part or full time doesn’t interest me.”

He made a quick gesture towards the windows to his right.

- “I want to go out there and handle the problems directly, not sit around a

table talking. Out there is where I can accomplish the most.”

- “You’ve always been a man of action, Luke,” Leia admitted. - “But talking

can solve a lot of things before anyone gets hurt.”

- “I know. I always favour peaceful solutions to all situations. But there

are times when too much talking and negotiating leads to nothing. And it

turns out to be too late to solve the actual issue. Not even a Jedi Master

can afford that much patience.”

He stepped away from her again, moving towards the windows, looking out.

Luke knew that when Leia looked upon this view she first saw the ruling body

of this galaxy, the centre that kept it all together. When he looked, he

most of all saw the people living there. They were seeing the same things

but in different ways. And in different order.

They were twins. They were of the same flesh and blood. They were both Force

sensitives.

But their views of the universe were in some cases rather different. And

Luke knew that this fact would never change. They had been brought up in

different worlds. And that had forever left its mark on them both.

- “I know how comfortable you are where you are,” Leia stated, not at all

ignorant or unknowing to how her brother regarded the universe. - “And I

support what you are saying. Negotiations without promised actions do lead

to nothing. But sometimes I wonder if you can’t accomplish even more.”

- “I’m up to my ears in work as it is, Leia,” Luke reminded. - “And I think

the creation of the Jedi Council is a huge contribution of mine as it is on

this matter. It’s impossible for me to do more.”

His stubborn unwillingness to be more clear-sighted surprised her. And

irritated her. It was not like her Jedi Master to be like this. He was a

visionary. At least, he once used to be.

Leia wondered what it could have possibly been that had changed him so

dramatically. In stages, yes, but after all this time it was easy to be

seen.

- “You’re no longer the last of the Jedi, Luke. Many years have passed since

you were. Several of your former students have reached Knighthood. Many of

those are already passing on to others what you have taught them. And both

Kam and Tionne have proven many times that they can run the Academy in your

absence without any problem.”

- “I know what you’re getting at,” Luke stated with another sigh.

- “Are you?”

She stepped up to the large, blaster-proof windows herself, windows that

were so powerful that not even a large explosion could break them. It would

even take several seconds for the blade of a lightsaber to damage them.

- “Luke, I’m offering you larger possibilities, for you and the Jedi Order,”

Leia explained.

- “To make it simple; let’s call it a kind of promotion. With higher

influence directly in the government, we may be able to get rid of all the

pointless and tedious financial debates we’ve had regarding the Jedi and the

Academy over the years.”

The economy of the Jedi Academy had always been a thorn in their side.

Leia always found herself fighting for more funds for the Academy. So many

believed that the Jedi ways of life didn’t demand as much as the New

Republic was already pouring into the Jedi’s school. But, as more and more

Force users were found and joined the Jedi Order, more credits were needed.

The Academy had its own security force, supplied by the New Republic. The

Academy grounds constantly needed to be taken care of, especially after the

attacks that had threatened the school. And the students needed new and

updated training material. Lightsabers had the unfortunate habit of breaking

things.

Luke was excellent in finding cheaper ways, using material that was

second-hand or that no one else wanted. His youth on Tatooine had certainly

prepared him for this challenge. And being a Jedi partly meant being able to

use whatever you could find. The lack of proper supplies and equipment was

the perfect lesson for that.

Still, the Academy did demand its budget and Luke craved that the students

should at least feel comfortable on the jungle moon. And it was also the

base of the entire Jedi Order. Once the Council would become a reality, the

Academy would most likely demand even more credits from the New Republic.

With only Leia and a small number of others to fight financially for their

cause, the maintenance of the Jedi Academy was truly fighting to live up to

its promise. But if they had someone else as well to speak up for the Jedi,

especially someone very respected in the government, things could turn to

the better very quickly.

- “The Jedi would be able to do their duty much more openly and freely,”

Leia continued and so did her enthusiasm as she spoke. - “The ideas and

visions we both have for the future of the Jedi can much easier come to be.”

She and Luke had often talked about the economy of the Jedi Academy. One

dream of theirs was to one day even give the Jedi order their own fleet of

fighters, just as the Jedi of the old days had had. But that dream demanded

more credits. A lot more. Credits the New Republic wanted to place

elsewhere.

But not if they could be persuaded.

They had been this day, and so easily, too. Leia could almost lick her lips

in excitement. Luke had had the whole ruling government of this galaxy in

the palm of his hand, by merely being himself and doing his duty. Just

imagine what he could do if he followed this path!

- “That is true,” Luke agreed. - “And I do wish for all of our plans to

become reality. But is it right to go the easier way?”

Leia’s eyes narrowed. What was he talking about?

- “As Jedi I must ask myself this question,” Luke reminded her. - “You are a

Jedi too, Leia, even if your political duty sometimes compels you to ignore

this fact. Have you asked yourself this question? Is making things easier

for us righteous? Just because we can make things easier, does that also

mean that we should?”

Why was he doing this?

Did he not understand the possibility they might have to make things better?

- “Luke! I’m doing this for you! For us all! I’m fighting to give you the

chance to fulfil the dreams you have for the Jedi Order.”

- “I’m not ungrateful, Leia.”

She frowned.

- “But as always, you regard everything as black and white,” she stated. But

Luke did not agree.

- “No. Politics is certainly not black or white, nor is the will of the

Force. However, I do believe in right and wrong. Something that is not too

often comparable with politics either, I’m afraid, even though it should

be.”

Leia sighed and caressed her own temple for a second. She could feel a

headache coming, as it always did when Luke was opposing her.

- “Don’t persuade me with your insistence to call you unfair,” she said. -

“If I ever will be able to have mandate enough to give you this position it

is now, as long as I am Chief of State. I may not have enough support later.

I don’t need you to fight against me as well. Why are you being so

difficult?”

- “Because I am a Jedi Master,” Luke replied firmly. - “A Jedi’s life is

difficult and I was given that lesson the hard way. I never go the easy way

anymore, Leia. And you know why. Fey’lya tried to break me by reminding

everyone of that. My desire to solve things the easy way brought me to the

very edge of the abyss, which you managed to save me from.”

Once more he was referring to his short walk on the Dark Side. How strongly

that short time in his life still held him in place. And he had learned his

lessons from that time, alright. But he had done that to the point that it

was beginning to totally dominate his life.

- “This is not just about you, Luke,” Leia said. - “There are bigger things

happening here than me and you. Think of your fellow Jedi. Think of my

children and the future generations of Jedi.”

- “It’s them I am thinking of, not me,” Luke stated. He paused for a second.

Leia was as determined as he, they were getting nowhere this way.

- “I’m not dismissing your idea of having a Jedi Knight on at least one post

in the government,” he went on. - “You’re right; it would be easier to make

the government see things more in our ways. It would help us. I do support

the idea. But I am not the person you’re looking for.”

- “You would gain a lot of support by just making an appearance,” Leia

explained. - “So many senators follow you.”

- “And at least as many fear or loath me. Or simply don’t trust me,” Luke

filled in. - “And you suffer from the same problem, Leia; otherwise you

would not need my help at all. Or to keep your genuine Force abilities

secret. We both know this.”

Yes, they both knew.

As a Force user, you had to move very carefully in political circles. One

fact that Luke had taken a lot into account. Not just Fey’lya’s accusations

were the proof of that.

He knew how the words and rumours could circle. Could a Jedi in a political

position be trusted? Was a won favour executed properly? Or had it been

gained through mind tricks? Would political Jedi Knights follow the rules of

the government or their own rules?

The reason why Leia wanted to keep her genuine Force abilities secret was

foremost not to hide them from their Dark Side adversaries. She wanted to

quiet down her powers in front of her political adversaries. For her to do

her duty as Chief of State, she wanted to be regarded as the former Princess

of Alderaan and senator, not as the Jedi Knight that she actually was.

Her training had been completed years ago. Leia was a true Jedi Knight in

her own right, with more skills than anyone could imagine of her. But no one

knew of this.

Except for Leia herself.

And her brother.

The belief the government had that her Force abilities were either weak or

not that powerful had a calming effect in general. Leia preferred to keep it

that way, even if it wasn’t the truth. They had no reason to fear her, but

she didn’t want to take that chance.

Luke had agreed to keep her abilities secret, on her request. Even if he

wasn’t too fond of it. He preferred to be fully honest and let people decide

their feelings for themselves. He respected his sister’s wish and could not

deny how well her scheme worked. But it was also the strongest reason why he

did not want to get involved in the world of politics.

If you had to hide who you truly were, it was no way of life for him. He had

seen what such self-denial had done to his father and many others in

different situations. He had even tried it himself as Palpatine’s

apprentice.

This was why his tongue had slipped earlier. He simply didn’t like the

double-cross that Leia had been practicing for over ten years now. Even if

it was for a good cause.

And her duty as Jedi had suffered from it!

- “The ghost of our father is forever with us. But the galaxy only remembers

him as Darth Vader. And we will have to live with that for the rest of our

lives,” he reminded, as he had done so many times before. - “The Jedi Order

will increase its political influence through the Council. Maybe one or two

members of the Council will enter the political arena one day as well,

representing our cause more directly in unison with the New Republic. But I

should not be that person, simply because it’s not right and it would create

more problems than benefits. You already had a political reputation long

before it was announced that Vader was our father, Leia. I don’t have that

luxury.”

- “You don’t need it,” Leia insisted. - “You are the most famous of all the

Jedi; you are already a living legend. You can prove to the whole galaxy

that you are nothing like father.”

- “By the time I might have earned everyone’s trust, even if that is

doubtful, a lot of valuable time will have been wasted,” Luke told her. -

“The powers the Force has entrusted to me shall be used out there, not in a

committee. Besides, I don’t have the enthusiasm for the position anyway, as

I keep trying to tell you.”

Leia sighed again. Her headache was increasing. She crossed her arms once

more. Luke was behaving just like her children when they didn’t get their

own way. And, similar to her role as a mother, she knew that she had to

negotiate with him. This was after all a family member, not some half

corrupted senator from the other side of the galaxy.

- “What is it you want, then?”

Luke stared at her. He felt stunned. Every now and then, Leia could surprise

him. And she just had.

He could not recall the last time she had asked him what he wanted so

directly. It was something she always failed to do. It had often given him

the haunting feeling that maybe she at times didn’t even care what he

wanted, as long as it was for the will and good of the New Republic.

But now, the case was not like that.

Now she truly wanted to know his personal opinion.

- “It’s imperative that the Jedi and the New Republic have a strong and

united bond as we together fight to maintain this galaxy,” he explained

carefully. - “But my strongest vision is for the Jedi to stand united

directly with the people. It’s the people we are fighting for, their

protection and their freedom. The people are everybody, no matter what your

politics are. And as long as the Jedi have the people’s trust and support,

the government has no choice but to give us the same. It’s the people’s

trust I’m focusing on to gain, not the politicians’.”

To add even more to his utter surprise, a smile formed on the small woman’s

lovely face.

- “And you claim that you have no political skills,” Leia said and could

hardly hold back her giggles. - “What do you call this, then?”

A trap.

Luke had to admit, Leia was a political genius. She had circled him, forcing

him to turn around and use his ideals her way. Clever.

However, that didn’t mean he would give in. But it was very clever of her

nonetheless.

- “Common sense,” he replied. - “The Jedi Order is not a religious group

that seeks political power. We strive for knowledge, not ignorance. All we

wish, what I wish, is for the people to see us for what we truly are. And

that they have no reason to fear us in any way. I know you share the same

vision, Leia. My calling as Jedi Knight requires my full commitment just as

your role as Chief of State does.”

He made another short pause, facing the view outside again.

- “And that’s not all.”

- “What do you mean?” she wondered.

- “Everything I am I owe to so many. I owe it to the whole galaxy,” Luke

explained. - “The safety of the citizens of the New Republic is my first and

highest priority. And for their sake I must pass on what I know to future

generations of Jedi. Like your children. But I also owe it to those who

risked so much, even gave their lives, so that I can be what I am today. I

owe it to the Jedi that went before us. I owe it to the two Masters that

trained me in the ways of the Force.”

He made a soft sigh.

- “And I owe it to my father.”

- “Our father, Luke!”

Luke sensed her anger increase once more. It had slipped his mind that

nowadays Leia never approved when he referred only to himself as the child

of Anakin Skywalker. And he could not blame her for that.

- “The blood of Anakin Skywalker runs in my veins, too,” Leia strongly

reminded. - “I’m his child as much as you are, as you pointed out just a

minute ago. And I owe my life to him as much as you do, even if not as

directly. His sacrifice to save you saved me as well. It saved us all.”

- “I’m sorry, Leia.”

The guilt embraced him. Their father was always a touchy subject for her and

he could at times never be quite sure what her reaction would be.

- “I didn’t mean it quite the way it sounded.”

Leia nodded. Luke really had nothing to apologise for.

- “I know,” she said. - “You just want to protect me from the truth as much

as you want me to know about it.”

Her gaze became harder once more.

- “But I don’t want you to carry the burden of Darth Vader alone.”

She grabbed his arm to make sure he understood how serious she was.

- “You hear me? I was foolish enough to let you do that once. I won’t let

you do that again! You are under my protection as much as I am under yours.

And last but certainly not least, you are my brother.”

- “An even stronger reason why I owe everything to him,” Luke answered her.

- “And to you most of all!”

- “Luke…”

- “You saved me as he once did. Perhaps even more.”

His voice began to tremble.

- “You didn’t just save my life, you saved my soul. I will never forget

that, Leia. In fact, my experience with the Dark Side taught me many things

but most of all it showed me the truth about myself. And who I want to be. I

was born to be what I am today. I feel that with certainty with all that I

am! I will not dishonour the ones that went before, or the ones of my own

time. If I leave this path I might not be able to find myself again.”

There was slight desperation in the Jedi Master’s voice, as the memories

returned to him. Most of all how Leia, being pregnant and all, had risked

her life to save him. And succeeded against all odds.

Leia was very aware of her brother’s feelings regarding this. And also how

much he feared that he might make the same mistake again.

- “Don’t worry, Luke. I won’t let you go through that again! That’ll happen

over my dead body!”

- “That I fear also.”

Silence fell between them again. Sometimes, their moments of silence could

say more than mere words.

- “I know you mean well and I understand what you are saying,” Luke finally

said. - “I know you would give your life for me. But no one can ever prevent

anyone from turning to the Dark Side. That choice, in the end, is always

your own.”

He shrugged, as if a cold hand had suddenly touched him.

- “I still hear its calling, Leia,” he admitted. - “The Dark Side never goes

away, even when I completely turn my back to it and close all my senses.

Master Yoda was right. It forever dominates your destiny… In fact, it’s my

current position and my commitments to my students and to the common people

that helps me resist the most. Even if I wanted to, I can never put that

commitment aside and make it a second priority. If I do… I may not be able

to return like last time.”

His voice trembled once more as the consequences of his former, Dark acts

were brought back to him. And as his shame followed.

- “I want to be your protector, not your worst enemy.”

By the Force, was that what he thought she was asking of him!?

Leia shook her head.

- “I’m not asking you to put anything aside, not your commitment, not your

teaching, and certainly not who you are,” she promised him. - “You are

priceless, Luke! Because you are the man that you are! All I am suggesting

is that you perhaps should consider using your skills in new ways. To look

what’s behind some other doors, doors that you so far have kept closed.”

She had never expected the smile that now appeared before her.

- “No wonder you are the politician in our family, Leia. You’ve always been

wiser than I am. I agree with you that you do have a point. And as a Jedi

you must never give in to ignorance.”

She playfully tapped with her fingers underneath his chin, mostly to try to

cheer him up.

- “Precisely!”

Finally they seemed to agree on something.

Luke grinned. Leia was good. She was very good. He knew they had to make

some kind of compromise here. But not just to please her. He wanted to do

that himself. She wasn’t wrong. She simply wasn’t fully right.

- “I tell you what,” he started. - “I will keep what you have said today in

mind. But I can’t give you any promises.”

- “That’s all I ask,” the Alderaanian Princess confirmed. - “I know that in

the end you always do what you must anyway.”

Both once more fell into silence, facing the magnificent city view outside

and underneath them. The sunset had passed more than half already and the

whole city seemed to burn brightly in the beautiful crimson light from the

declining sun. It would be dark soon.

How many sunsets had Luke not seen in his life? They were numerous. He could

not even make a wild guess of how many. They were all individually

beautiful, no matter on which world he was at the time or what star or stars

he was observing. He loved them all.

- “You know, the more years pass, the more I keep thinking back to my youth

on Tatooine,” Luke finally said, breaking the silence. - “I thought I had so

many problems.”

He frowned at himself. If he, as a youth, had been able to look upon his

future life, he would have realized that his problems then had been

absolutely no problems at all.

- “I also believed then that what you didn’t know wouldn’t hurt you,” he

continued. - “It felt good being so naïve.”

- “It sure did,” Leia agreed, thinking back to her own childhood at the same

time on Alderaan. A world that no longer existed. She preferred to not think

too long and hard of the final moment before she had watched the whole

planet be brutally destroyed before her very eyes. The memory was too

painful and could even after all these years make her cry.

- “Have you notified the Academy of your departure?” she asked, changing the

subject again.

- “Yes, I just spoke with Kam. I will probably be home before nightfall

Yavin local time. I will not brief them of the entire situation until I

arrive.”

Leia turned to face him.

- “That means you’re leaving right away,” she stated, slightly disappointed

in that they had to separate again so soon. He had only been here for two

days.

- “Almost,” Luke said. - “I intend to go into the city a little first. I

have one more thing to do before I leave Coruscant.”

The fact was that he wasn’t planning on going that far away from the

Imperial Palace. The skyscraper he had in mind could even be seen from this

very window. It wouldn’t take more than a few minutes for a speeder to take

him there.

- “You are going to see Mara.”

He froze. And looked at her in surprise. There had not even been a

hesitation in her statement.

- “How did you know that? I sensed no mind reading from you.”

- “I don’t have to read your mind at all, Luke. Not this time,” Leia

explained.

Since when did Luke head into the Coruscant metropolis without a reason? He

certainly never did it to find a good time. And he had already done all that

was required of him here during this mission.

There was no reason to postpone his journey back to the Academy, not even

for a few hours. Except one.

Mara Jade.

There couldn’t be any other reason.

Besides, he had been staring for several minutes at the skyscraper in which

they both knew Mara lived.

- “I still remember what happened between the two of you down at the docking

bay when you arrived.”

Luke crossed his arms. There was something in his sister’s tone of voice, in

her whole attitude all of a sudden, that he didn’t like. And it had appeared

as soon as she had mentioned Mara’s name.

- “And what exactly did you see, Leia?” Luke enquired. He got no other

answer but her stare, which only confirmed to him what they both knew had

happened the past morning.

- “Why can’t you leave this be?” he continued and moved away from the

windows. - “Don’t assume things out of the blue. Your eyes can deceive you

so don’t trust them.”

Leia turned around as he passed her. As always, he was trying to run away.

But this time he was not going to be able to hide. She had been patient long

enough. Now she would demand to know what was going on between her brother

and the former Emperor’s Hand.

- “Don’t try to outsmart me with Jedi philosophies,” she spat. - “If

anyone’s eyes are being deceiving it’s your own. I know what I saw.”

Luke stopped, now facing her again.

- “Oh? You do?”

- “The mere mention of her brings a look to your face I’ve never seen there

before,” Leia explained. - “And that’s why I can’t let it be.”

She didn’t want to start another argument with her brother, merely find some

clarity. Leia knew she had to proceed gently. The Force told her that he

took this even more personally to heart than all the things they had already

been discussing.

- “You are my brother and I love you. I don’t mean to interfere or to stand

in your way. But it’s my job to protect you.”

- “I’m in no danger, if that’s what you think,” Luke explained, forcing back

his laughter since he found the idea so ridiculous. - “Not from Mara,

anyway.”

Leia, however, was not laughing.

And she did not find this ridiculous.

- “You don’t believe that, do you?” Luke continued when he started to

realize what his sister’s true opinion about his female friend was. - “Even

after all these years and all that has happened? Leia, the threat she once

represented to me is ancient history.”

- “Not so ancient, Luke. If people can’t forget our father, why should I

forget the threats that Mara once gave to you?”

He was about to protest when she raised her hand, stopping him.

- “I’m sorry, I can’t help it,” she said. - “I know she has changed and she

has helped the New Republic many times.”

- “Including me as well,” Luke reminded. - “In case you haven’t been keeping

up with current events, Leia, I wish to remind you that Mara is our ally.”

- “That’s actually what worries me.”

Luke found himself even more baffled. What did she mean?

- “Not the fact that she helps us but that she always seems to be there

right next to you so conveniently all the time,” Leia went on. - “Almost as

if it’s been planned.”

- “What’s your point?” Luke wondered, not sure if he really wanted to know

the answer. Something told him that he wouldn’t.

- “There might be more to Mara Jade than we actually know,” Leia said. -

“Something that we might not even want to know.”

She had refrained from telling Luke this for many years, actually. Leia was

not unaware of the fact that he considered Mara a good friend. But, keeping

in mind the events of the past few weeks, Leia could no longer keep it to

herself. It was time to tell her brother what she truly thought of the

red-haired woman.

- “There are still great parts of her past that we know nothing of. Has she

ever told you any stories of her youth or of her time as the Emperor’s

Hand?”

- “No, not really,” Luke admitted and started thinking about whether he

could be wrong, but it didn’t seem to be that way. - “Well, she has told me

minor things. But not much. It has merely been tiny details, a few stories.

Nothing conclusive. She prefers to avoid the subject.”

- “And that has never drawn your suspicion during all these years?”

- “Mara is my friend,” Luke stated firmly. - “I don’t suspect my friends.”

- “Are you so certain of her friendship?”

Luke shrugged at his sister’s question. He was beginning to find it

difficult to recognise Leia. She had always been a bit wary about Mara but

had never shown such strong suspicion and doubt before.

- “If she can’t confide in you, then how can we claim that we know this

woman?” Leia wondered, trying to awaken the questions in her brother, too,

trying to prompt him to do his own thinking. - “Every time I see her near

you I get nervous. She once admitted right to my face that she was going to

kill you!”

So.

It was there the issue truly lay. Luke was not really surprised. Leia had

been the one that had taken Mara’s threats against his life the most

serious, unlike himself. Leia had always believed that Mara would have done

it while Luke had all along been confident of the opposite.

- “That’s in the past,” he reminded her. - “Mara has dealt with her old life

in the Empire. We have no right to dwell into her private life, Leia. The

Mara I regard as my friend and our ally is the person she is today. She’s a

good woman.”

- “I want to believe that,” Leia admitted. - “I want to trust her. But as

things are now I don’t dare to. Do you not think it’s a bit odd?”

- “What is?”

- “It’s been quite a while since the two of you have last seen each other

now. Right?”

- “If you put aside my little rendezvous with her on the eve before Life

Day, yeah,” Luke agreed. - “So?”

Leia trembled slightly. Luke had never told her that he had met Mara the

evening before Life Day. Not that it really mattered, but she didn’t like it

nonetheless.

- “And then she pops up out of nowhere and also manages to get close to you

during this particular mission when you find out about Palpatine’s return?

Very odd indeed!” she stated, not holding back her suspicion. - “Or maybe it

isn’t?”

- “No,” Luke agreed, but only partly. - “But not the way you are

insinuating. Mara was attacked, with the intention to have her killed. The

assassin was sent by the Remnant. If she is still supporting them, why would

they want to get her out of the way?”

- “To make us believe in a lie, perhaps?”

Luke had to gasp at that comment.

- “Force, Leia! You are no better than the other conspirators in the

government!”

- “Do we know for sure that the Remnant wants Mara dead?” Leia continued,

driving on the issue.

- “I thought we were going to let N.R.I. make sure of that.”

- “Did you see this Imperial agent attack her, Luke?”

- “No, I didn’t. But I sensed her distress, that’s what brought me to her on

Anargosa. Look, I don’t claim that I can’t be fooled. But right now there’s

only one truth that I fully believe in. And that is that if I and Lando

hadn’t been there at that particular time, Mara would now be dead.”

Leia sighed, her headache now a fact. She even closed her eyes for a moment.

Why did she even bother talking to him? But she had no choice. He was

leaving this very evening.

- “I can’t believe I hear this from you!” she said, the urgency growing in

her voice. - “You out of all people who always have the instinct to figure

people out for what they truly are. Why can’t you do so now? What was she

doing out there in the first place?”

- “I’m sorry, but I won’t discuss Mara’s work with you,” Luke answered. -

“She would not appreciate it.”

Appreciate it?

Did she understand this correctly?

Was Luke taking Mara’s side against his own sister?

- “All I can tell you is that she was on Anargosa on a business trip,” he

admitted.

The mixture of emotions stirred in her. She felt hurt. And confused. How

could he take that woman’s side!?

- “Business for Karrde?” Leia wondered and glared at him. - “Or for

Palpatine!?”

Her accusation cut through his heart like the blade of a saber. It hurt

terribly. And it released a spark of anger from within.

- “Leia, stop it!” Luke spat, almost yelling at her. - “She is no longer the

Emperor’s Hand or has any kind of death wish for me! And I don’t want to

hear otherwise from you anymore! If Mara would have had anything to do with

Palpatine’s sudden reappearance I would have been the first to know about

it.”

Leia knew she had failed to not upset him. She should have realized from the

start that such an attempt was doomed to fail. All she could do now was to

continue to try to make him see reason.

- “Are you certain?” she wondered. - “She might be fooling all of us. Even

plays along and helps us to put us in a false security. Fooling us to

believe she’s our friend. Your friend.”

Luke could not believe what he was hearing.

- “You mean she would fake her true intentions for as long as ten years?”

Did Leia even listen to herself? Could she not hear how illogical this

sounded?

- “If harming us had been her wish she would not have waited this long,”

Luke told her. - “Mara has never been that patient. And I would have sensed

if it all had been an act. But I haven’t. And I do trust her.”

- “She could have had a change of heart just before Palpatine revealed

himself,” Leia suggested. - “He could have contacted her before he made

contact with you, earning her allegiance again.”

Her stubbornness seemed to have no limits. Luke was beginning to realize

that Leia’s distrust in Mara was starting to turn into something much darker

and sinister. Something that he, as Leia’s Jedi Master, had to keep under

close observation. Leia’s feelings could easily, if motivated, be turned

into something much, much worse.

- “Where was Mara the last time Palpatine returned?” he suddenly asked. -

“As far away from him as possible!”

He calmed down.

- “You have every right to be suspicious, Leia. But I promise you, Mara was

sincerely frightened when I told her about his return. In fact, she fears

his wrath and retaliation more than we do. Would she do that if Palpatine

still had her allegiance? She is as eager to stop him as we are.”

He walked up to her and put his hands on her shoulders.

- “You are showing fear where you don’t have to. Mara Jade is not your

enemy.”

He could spot tiny sparkles in her eyes. She was fighting against her fear.

What she needed now was his comfort, not his blame.

Luke quickly took her into his arms. Leia immediately embraced him back,

holding on to him as if she feared of letting him go.

- “You’re not going to lose me,” Luke promised her, holding her close. -

“Whatever my final fate will be, Mara will not be the cause of it”.

She seemed to calm down a bit. Their embrace ended.

- “I hope you are right,” she mumbled.

- “Furthermore, she hasn’t gotten closer to me,” Luke explained.

- “What about your embrace? And her kiss?” Leia asked. - “That’s not common

standard procedure between the two of you, to say the least.”

- “No, it isn’t. I agree, that was more than the usual,” Luke admitted. -

“But it wasn’t the first time it happened.”

- “No?”

- “Our last journey together wasn’t without danger. She almost drowned on

Anargosa.”

Luke let out a small sigh.

- “I’ve feared for Mara’s life before but never as much as I did this time,”

he admitted. - “She was lifeless when I dragged her out of the water and

that affected me in ways I had not expected. That is why I now need to go

and see her. To reassure myself that she’s perfectly all right. I need to

know before I’ll be able to focus on Palpatine.”

Leia’s jaw slowly dropped. How could she have been so blind? It had been in

front of her eyes all along, ever since the past morning. And the Force had

been trying to tell her as well.

And now, it made perfect sense.

- “My goodness… You’re in love with her.”

Those blue eyes of his stared at her, as if she was some frightening beast

about to attack him with her big teeth and scary claws. His heart was

pounding.

- “Leia… Do you have any idea what you’re saying!?”

He had barely been able to utter the words. For it was true. Now, when he

had heard Leia say it outright to him, he sensed in his heart that it was

the truth.

He was in love with Mara!

- “You’re not even aware of it yourself, are you?” Leia continued, now

beginning to grasp the larger picture. - “Or are you just trying to conceal

it? From me or yourself?”

There was no use trying to deny anything. Luke was too stunned by Leia’s

sudden insight that it didn’t even cross his mind to deny anything.

- “How do you..?”

- “Come on, I’m your twin, Luke.”

The Force brought them together. It told them everything about each other.

Well, at least in the past it had been that way. But this had been so

obvious that not even Luke’s barriers had been able to keep Leia away from

his feelings any longer this time.

- “It’s not the kiss or Palpatine’s return that makes me wonder,” she

explained. - “It’s the change I sense in you. You are letting her closer.

Not just that you accepted her kiss but you are accepting her closer to your

soul. I’m not wrong, am I?”

- “No.”

Luke had not even admitted it to himself, but now that Leia confronted him

about it, he knew what she was saying was true.

- “I don’t mean to push you,” Leia said honestly. - “But can you please tell

me what’s going on?”

Luke shook his head and slowly sat down on a couch right next to him.

- “I only wish I knew,” he confessed. - “My friendship with Mara has always

been tense, because of her past. But it’s still a friendship I value

greatly. I always have.”

He made a pause, giving himself the time to think, as he had done so often

ever since he had set foot on Anargosa a few days ago.

- “Nothing has changed,” he said honestly. - “Everything is like it has

always been between us, and yet… it isn’t anymore. It’s as if everything has

begun all over.”

- “Begun?”

Leia sat down by his right, listening very carefully to what he had to say.

- “It feels like I’ve just met her for the first time and yet I know

everything I’ve always known about her,” Luke went on, speaking directly

from his heart. It felt so liberating to finally be able to tell another of

the mixture of feelings he had been experiencing these last few days.

- “It’s as if I’ve been blind my whole life and all of a sudden I can see.

And what I see is her. Nothing has changed about her. But I see her in a new

way.”

He buried his face in his hands.

- “What the hell is wrong with me!?” he asked.

- “Only you can find the answer to that,” Leia said and placed a hand on his

shoulder, trying to comfort him. - “What I’m about to tell you might not

make you feel any easier, Luke. But I went through the same feelings and

disorientation when I was falling for Han. I asked myself the same questions

as you do now. I was confused. Because I suddenly saw Han in a new light.

And I could not believe that I could have feelings for such a man, so unlike

myself. But I realized that I and Han were much more the same than I wanted

to admit at first.”

She paused, as if another insight suddenly hit her.

- “In some ways, Mara is not so different from you either,” she stated, even

if that fact did not work in her favour.

Luke swallowed. Now when Leia knew he was even less sure of what he was

feeling himself.

- “Perhaps I’m just overreacting,” he suggested. - “Palpatine’s return has

made me very uneasy. And having Mara almost die in my arms during the same

time has gotten to me. And on top of all that, I haven’t had much sleep. I’m

probably just being emotional and sensitive right now.”

- “That’s possible,” Leia said. - “But is that what you really believe this

is, Luke?”

She didn’t sound convinced and neither was Luke.

- “I don’t know what to believe,” he admitted. - “Except that I know that I

have to see her again before I leave here. I have to!”

Leia nodded slightly.

- “Then you should,” she suggested. - “Go to her, brother.”

Once more, Luke looked at his sister in surprise.

- “You mean that?”

Leia nodded again.

- “Go and do what you think should be done,” she said. - “I’ve never been

able to stop you anyway. Go to Mara and find your answers. All of them.”

Luke couldn’t help but feel slightly suspicious of her sudden change of

heart.

- “I thought you didn’t want me to get near Mara.”

- “What I want in this matter is irrelevant,” Leia stated firmly. - “But my

wish to see you happy is not! Your changed feelings for Mara worry me. I may

not like it but I know that you will not be content until you have found

some clarity. And afterwards… whatever you decide to do, you have my

support. That’s a promise.”

He kept looking at her, reaching out to her mind to feel if her words were

truly genuine. He did not like to suspect Leia’s credibility any further

than Mara’s. But Leia had surprised him several times the last couple of

minutes. He had to be sure where she had placed her feelings.

- “Do you really mean that?” he asked carefully. - “Or are you just trying

to be nice to me?”

- “If you’re asking for my opinion as the Chief of State, I can not stress

well enough of how much I disapprove of all this,” Leia said in a more

formal voice that Luke was very familiar with. - “From a political point of

view, seeing Mara closer to you could in fact be a catastrophe. And that

political influence of yours we talked about will be badly damaged! Perhaps

even the support that we have just gained today. There are those who regard

Mara in a much more negative way than I do. Some even want to see her

punished for her crimes during the Civil War.”

- “Do you?”

She had given him enough reason to ask. But she was not without a heart. Not

even regarding Mara Jade.

- “No. Absolutely not,” Leia answered honestly. - “I swear to you, I don’t

wish to see Mara behind bars.”

- “Is there a warrant for her arrest?”

Luke had never really thought so much about it the last couple of years

since nothing had indicated that he should worry for Mara’s freedom. But

what he had heard from his sister scared him. He had to know, no matter how

grim the truth may be.

Leia shook her head.

- “Even if everybody knows what she has been no one has any evidence against

her,” she explained. - “No court would be able to convict her. Don’t worry,

Luke, she’s not in any danger from us. But you see the consequences of what

an affair with Mara could have, don’t you? It would trigger the same

negative effects that the memory of father does, perhaps even worse.”

- “I’ve never mentioned anything about having an affair,” Luke declared. The

very thought of it seemed ridiculous. But it also brought about feelings

inside that he had not felt for many years.

Desire!

And yearning.

- “Your feelings for her are growing,” Leia explained. - “And I haven’t seen

such a spark in your eyes since Callista was still around. You’re a fighter

and very strong in spirit but no one can deny the power of desire. If you’re

truly attracted to her, then your whole being wants her, Luke. And an affair

will be unavoidable.”

She sounded so sure. Leia was probably right. And if she was, it meant that

he’d be left with even more heartbreak.

- “So… you really wish me to not get any closer to her?”

He sounded so sad, so hurt. Leia could not deny the effect that had on her.

Her heart was bleeding for him, as it had for many years. He was lonely and

fighting to ignore it. He could not go on like this.

- “As the Chief of State, yes. However, as your sister… I won’t stop you,”

she honestly told him. - “And I am your sister most of all. As I said, I

will support any decision regarding Mara that you will make. You’re as dear

to me, Luke, as I am to you. The last I want is for you to doubt me. I want

nothing more than to see you happy. I may not like that Mara is the one who

brings this out of you, but I’m thrilled to see that the spark of life and

joy still exists in you.”

Leia took her time to look into those blue eyes of his. Yes, they were truly

sparkling. And they seemed to have more colour somehow. She had not seen

that in years. It had been like a veiling shadow hanging over him somehow.

But it had disappeared.

- “Honestly, I had begun to think that it was gone forever,” she said and

suddenly realized how overwhelmed she was with joy for his sake. - “I’ve

been worried for you for so long. But now, I’m very relieved.”

Luke put his arms around her and pulled her towards him.

- “Poor sister. You shouldn’t worry for me,” he said quietly. - “I’m fine.”

- “Fine is not enough!” Leia protested, cursing herself for not telling him

that sooner. - “You deserve so much more. That’s why I tell you to go and

see Mara. If that is what you want that is what you should do. No one but

yourself knows what’s best for you. And you have always been the wisest man

I’ve ever known. I won’t question your judgment. And certainly not your

heart.”

- “And still you worry,” Luke stated.

- “The last thing I want is to see you get hurt,” Leia said. - “I don’t want

her to use you, not in any way.”

- “She won’t,” Luke promised. - “She hasn’t so far. And I won’t let her

either.”

- “Okay.”

The siblings remained seated close to each other on the couch, silently

enjoying each other’s presences, finding comfort from the other. They had

truly spoken their minds this time and the tone had not always been nice and

gentle. But both Luke and Leia could agree that it felt a lot better now.

They now knew where they both were standing.

They kept observing the sunset. The gigantic sun had almost disappeared

behind the skyscrapers. Luke knew that it was time for him to depart. He had

one more place to go today.

- “I have to leave now,” he said.

Leia, who had been resting her head against his right shoulder, moved away

and they both rose to their feet.

- “I understand,” she said. Her eyes were emotional, filled with both worry

and gratitude. - “Just promise me to be discrete, no matter what you do,”

she begged him. - “I doubt any harm will happen if the people closest to you

find out, if you wish to tell us. But don’t let this get out in the open,

especially to the media. Many people will be upset and it will backfire on

you.”

- “I have no intention to reveal anything. Not now at least,” Luke said. -

“Especially since I’m still not sure what I really want myself. And even

less what Mara wants. There’s a risk that I have misunderstood her

completely. And what I think I’m feeling might not be mutual. And I won’t do

anything unless it is. So far, I have nothing to reveal.”

His cautioned approach was enough to soothe Leia, at least for now. His many

years in solitude had at least taught him to not jump into another romance

head first. And, even though Leia didn’t say it out loud, she hoped that

Luke would not jump into anything at all.

Not with Mara Jade anyway.

But she knew that she was not in control of her brother’s life or heart. If

this was what he wished then she had to accept it. And Leia would love him

no matter what.

- “Well, good luck. With everything,” she said.

- “Thanks.”

They slowly began their way towards the office door.

- “I will keep you informed of what I may learn from the Holocron,” Luke

promised. - “I will contact you as soon as I’ve talked to Master Baas. No

matter what he has to say.”

- “Good.”

They exited the office and walked quietly side by side through the corridor

to the elevator. Not much of Leia’s personnel were still around at this hour

and the corridor was relatively empty. As they reached the elevator, merely

two Noghri warriors could be seen while they guarded each side of the

elevator door. The Skywalker siblings knew they could speak freely in front

of them; the Noghri would rather die than ever utter a word of what the Son

and Daughter of Vader were saying in their presence.

Leia looked up to her brother as they waited for the elevator to arrive.

What she was about to say she had told him before. But obviously not clear

or often enough.

- “Luke, don’t forget that you can always come to me, no matter what,” she

said. - “I’m here for you.”

Luke met her eyes. That emotional gaze of hers was still there.

- “I know. And I wish you to do the same whenever you feel the need to

talk,” he answered. - “I’ll always be there for you, Leia”.

She nodded.

The elevator arrived and the doors opened.

- “Promise me that you’ll be careful.”

- “I always am, Leia!” Luke answered and smiled. His sister frowned.

- “Now you really worry me!” she mumbled.

To her surprise, he did not enter the cart. He held the doors open with the

Force. He did not want to depart from her so unemotionally. Not after all

they had been through this day.

- “Kiss?”

His unexpected request baffled her but she had no intention to reject him,

on the contrary. It was just that it had been such a long time since last he

had asked for a kiss. Another of those details of brotherly love that she

missed so greatly these days.

She nodded, letting him know that she accepted.

Luke put his hands on her cheeks, holding her face gently. He looked deeply

into her brown eyes. The memories started to haunt him again, especially now

that she looked exactly the same as that night all those years ago. But this

time he chose to ignore his fear.

For once, in a very long time, he wanted to love his sister the way he truly

loved her. This time, it would not be anything wrong.

Then he kissed her.

Gently. Slowly.

The way a brother should kiss his sister.

It had been so long.

Her headache disappeared the moment Luke kissed her.

A soft moan escaped her. Not merely for the innocent kiss her brother gave

her, but of the fact that he kissed her on the lips at all. He was fighting

some inner fear, Leia could feel it. What could it be? Back in the days when

they had been much closer, giving each other a kiss or two had been nothing

unusual. But these days it was.

Why was he afraid?

What could frighten her brother to such extent that it continued to keep him

away from her?

As soon as her tiny moan ended, so did their kiss. They embraced, holding

each other closely, knowing that it would probably be a while until the next

time they saw each other.

Leia could feel his impatience grow. Luke didn’t want to part with her but

he had business elsewhere as well. Something very dire. And Leia would not

hold him back any longer. He needed to leave. He needed to find his answers.

And maybe she would get some more answers as well the next time she met her

beloved brother.

- “Go on now,” she whispered. - “Go.”

- “I love you, Leia,” Luke said, let go of her and backed into the cart. -

“May the Force be with you.”

- “May it be with you, too, brother.”

The doors closed. Leia slowly walked up to them as Luke was already on his

way down the building. He was on his way to see Mara.

She could have objected much more to that. But what would that have served?

Nothing. Except that her already strangely tense relationship with her

brother would have become even worse. Leia knew she could not hold him back.

Nor did she want to. He was a grown man, fully capable of taking care of

himself.

Still, that he was going to meet with Mara Jade, a woman she simply didn’t

trust anywhere near him, a woman that he now had admitted he was in love

with, made Leia very nervous on Luke’s behalf.

This could end anyway it wished. And not necessarily in a good way.

She put her hands on the elevator doors as she thought of Luke’s last words.

And her own in return to him. Yes, the Force was with them. But would that

be enough?

- “You will need it more than ever now, I think.”

 

To be continued in: "Doesn't See Me"

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