Jedi Dawn – Chapter 10
By Sienn (2001)
Rating (for chapter): PG-13
Protagonists: Luke/Mara
Category: Drama/Action/Angst
Time Frame: 26 A.Y.
Spoilers:
See Chapter 1
Disclaimer:
See Chapter 1
Coruscant, 4 Hours After The First Talks, Skywalker Apartment
Luke rubbed his eyes tiredly, then tried to concentrate again onto the data files before him. Since they had returned from the Yuuzhan Vong ship, he had been busy writing down every single impression he had had and could still think of. After he had finished this, he had begun to skim once again through all available files concerning the Yuuzhan Vong, wanting to find out whether anyone had heard before now about the so-called Shapers.
When the letters before his eyes began to blur, he sighed, let himself fall back into the couch and stared at the dark wall before him where the lights of the passing speeders and air taxis played. His search had come up empty. No one had heard about the Shapers, no one could offer him even the slightest guess as to what exactly they were. But would it even matter to him? Was there really anything that could prevent him from doing everything to find a cure for Mara?
Luke sighed again, turned and stared out onto the nightly city. Usually, he liked the view from up here and could sit hour after hour on this sofa. But without Mara beside him it seemed empty. Empty and not a bit beautiful.
"Luke, are you alright?" a deeper voice asked and he recognised the light, sneaking footsteps of his brother-in-law.
He nodded, but when he felt Han's worry increase, he forced himself to abandon this monument of a lost past and turned towards his old friend. And really, just like Luke had imagined, Han's face was contorted with a heavy frown and the two twinkling, dark spots which were the Corellian's eyes stared firmly at his face.
Luke smiled tiredly: "Don't worry so much about me, Han. I'm fine."
The frown didn't ease and Han crossed his arms before his chest: "Am I really supposed to think you're fine if I find you in the middle of the night staring out onto the city with the lights shut down?"
Luke took his time to reply, trying somewhat desperately to find a persuasive answer - but Han wouldn't be tricked. They'd known each other forever, it seemed, and Han was one of the very few persons Luke couldn't and mostly wouldn't act before.
"Probably not," he finally said quietly. A contemptuous snort came out of the dark across from him and a moment later, a form let itself fall beside him onto the couch.
"So tell me what's wrong," Han demanded, leaning back to look into Luke's moonlit face.
The Jedi Master perched an eyebrow and Han grimaced: "I mean aside from Mara. Come on, you know exactly what I'm talking about." He gestured towards the data cards that glinted between them. "What have you been looking for?"
"How do you know that I was looking for something?" Luke asked back, refusing to look into the face of his friend, instead focusing on the sea of lights below them.
"I guessed. Luke, you know that I hate it if you play that way with me. Since we have come back you have been here and working. You didn't even tell me what this mysterious talk you had with this Yuuzhan Vong female was about. And if you don't decide to let me in on it now, I'm going to drag it out of you in a rather unpleasant way. Choose now." Han had deliberately let his voice go deep and threatening and he was rewarded by a low chuckle from his counterpart.
"Now I'm frightened," Luke quipped, to duck in time to avoid the pillow Han had thrown into his direction.
Han grinned, but soon became serious again: "Luke, what did this woman want from you?"
Luke was calm for some moments and Han wondered whether he had just fallen asleep in the comforting near-darkness around them, when his brother-in-law began to speak softly.
"She said she could arrange a meeting with someone who could find a cure for Mara's illness."
In the next second, Han was on his feet: "What?! Luke, you can't seriously..."
Luke joined him in the upright position and his voice took on a pleading, desperate tone: "Han, there is a special caste in the Vong hierarchy. They are specialists in bio-engineering and if anyone can counter the poison Mara has been infected with, then they can."
"If they're so great with bio-engineering, why can't they save their own worldships? And tell me why exactly the Yuuzhan Vong should want to help YOU!"
The hand that had rested lightly on Han's lower arm disappeared and his friend's voice became even more desperate. "They also gave Nom Anor to us."
Han snorted: "Oh please, Luke, you're not that naïve anymore. According to all we know, every single Yuuzhan Vong would happily take the opportunity to kill you. And now you're going off and want to trust people whose name you don't even know."
"Shapers," Luke's voice hissed. "They're called Shapers. And they are the only hope to get a cure for Mara's illness."
"Luke, Mara is gone! Even if you find a cure, what good does it do? Mara is not here; she could even already be dead! And you're taking a senseless risk!" Han barked.
When no reply came from in front of him, only the sound of a slight movement Han couldn't place, the Corellian knew he had made a mistake. That was not the right way to talk to Luke at the moment.
Silently cursing himself, Han searched the button for the light, switched it on and stared at Luke. The kid sat on the couch again, a data pad in his lap, reading through one of the classified data disks Han recognised from the meeting they had had in the afternoon.
He cleared his throat: "Luke, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it like that."
Luke lifted his head, showing Han a completely emotionless face. "I know, Han. But I'm not giving up hope. I never will. If she ever comes back, I will have this cure for her. No matter what it costs me."
"And if she doesn't come back?" Han asked quietly, contemplating how much Luke had changed in the past few weeks. He was nothing but shattered remains that could barely be held together - they should have foreseen that he would throw himself into even the slightest possibility of a solution for his newest crisis.
That brought Luke finally to look Han in the eyes, though the Corellian would have wished not to have to see this tormented expression: "Then I know that she doesn't love me and probably never did."
Han tensed and stared at Luke, shocked: "Luke, she loves you. You know that."
"You said yourself that she probably never comes back," Luke replied, still with an emotionless voice.
"I just wanted to remind you that she has been very ill. Without a cure… you know what the doctors said. Mara is..."
"Mara never thought she would die of this illness, Han. She didn't leave me to die. You know, it's not as if I weren't used to things like that. I should have known that she wouldn't be happy with me." Luke's voice had become soft and very low and the expression in his eyes scared Han. A defeated bitterness, mixed with despair and sadness.
He swallowed: "Luke, I don't like what you're saying there."
"I'm telling you the truth, nothing else."
"So, why do you still want to find this cure, if you're thinking this way?" Han asked, wanting nothing more than to be able to talk Luke out of these ideas but knowing full well that he had no arguments for it. Yet. He would have to talk with Leia about this. Luke was worse than even he had assumed and needed help.
The Jedi Master smiled: "Because I love her, Han. If there is a possibility to save her life, I will go for it."
Han sighed, massaging his temples. "Ok. Ok, I got it, kid. If you're determined to go through with this, I'm there to watch your back."
"Thanks, Han. You don't know how much this means to me," Luke said softly, his smile broadening.
"Well, yeah. Don't get used to it," Han grumbled, scratching his head slightly embarrassed. He went towards the door, but turned again before he left: "And promise me to go sleep soon. It's late. You need rest."
Luke still smiled: "I'll see what I can do. Now go home, Han. You're as tired as I am."
Han was almost in the lift tube outside in the corridor when he heard Luke shout: "And, just that you know, I'm going to change the code. So that I don't strike you down when you sneak up on me like this the next time!"
Han smiled when he pushed the button to his floor. It wasn't too late. Not yet.
Two Hours Later
Teneniel was more than surprised when she exited the lift on the floor of Luke's apartment and found his door wide open. She peeked into his anteroom, suspiciously eyeing the surroundings, but neither her eyes nor her Force senses could pick up anything out of the ordinary.
Shrugging, she proceeded towards the warm light from the bordering room, guessing it to be Luke's living room. She knew it was awfully late to disturb someone, but when she had sensed Luke still awake half an hour before, she had thought she could talk to him now, better than tomorrow. She didn't need him to block her again the way he had this morning.
When she entered her destination, she couldn't quite suppress a little smile. Though his head snapped up immediately when she set her foot into the room, he had just been about to doze off, his chin sinking slowly onto his chest and his eyes falling equally slowly shut.
Now he needed a second to readjust his sight, then stared at her, completely baffled.
"Teneniel! What... how did you get in here?"
She stopped, looking quite embarrassed and shrugged: "The door was open."
"Oh!" was all Luke managed to get out, inwardly snorting. Solo. Of course, who else. First slicing into his code, then leaving the door open. Typical, just typical. And now he had this woman in his living room at... Luke's eyes widened when his gaze swept over the chrono at the wall. 4 o'clock in the morning!
"Why are you coming here in the middle of the night?" Luke finally sputtered, jumping to his feet and scattering the data disks neatly over the floor in the process.
Teneniel shrugged again, then joined him on the floor and helped him gather the discs. "I couldn't sleep and when I sensed you were still awake… well, I thought we could talk. We didn't manage it on the way up."
Luke, refusing to look at her at all after having seen that she was clad in a tight-fitting jump suit, shook his head slightly. Why did he feel so nervous? He knew Teneniel for over a decade. She was a friend, nothing more. And she knew that of course.
"I'm sorry. It was all kind of busy today." He apologised, rising again and laying the disks onto the table.
"It's okay. There are more important things in such times." She smiled and looked him straight into the eyes.
She did know they were only friends, Luke thought again. Didn't she?
"So... um.. what did you want to talk about?" he asked, rounding the table and sitting down on the sofa.
"Well, originally, I did want to tell you about the problems I have with Isolder, but looking at you now, I'd say it would be more important to talk about the problems YOU have." She came over to him, sitting down beside him and grasping his left hand with her own.
"Teneniel, I told you this is too personal. Really, you shouldn't---" he tried to get his hand free, but Teneniel only tightened her hold.
"You don't have to tell me everything, Luke. I just wanted to offer you distraction." She smiled once more and Luke shivered, feeling his eyes grow wide.
"Uh, Teneniel... I'm well... I'm married, you know, and I love Mara and..." he stammered, practically jumping back from her and retaking possession of his strangely tingling hand.
For a moment, Teneniel looked bewildered, then she laughed. "Oh, Luke, you have a naughty mind, haven't you? What did you think I was offering?"
Luke stared at her baffled, then blushed deeply red: "I--- well I only thought you--- I'm sorry---"
Teneniel grinned broadly, glad that he was so busy trying to find his composure again. That way, he didn't catch her momentary anger. Perhaps it was too soon - he was as shy as he had been all these years before. But then, doing it slowly didn't mean cancelling it entirely. Still smiling, she softly cupped his cheek and moved closer to him.
"It's ok, Luke. I just wanted to give you the possibility to talk about something else than Yuuzhan Vong or problematic relationships."
Luke was still for some moments, then dared again to look at her and laughed. She had to force herself not to look at him fascinated. She really had forgotten how much he had meant to her - and why.
"I'm sorry, Teneniel. It's not fair of me to think about you that way."
'If you only knew', Teneniel thought.
"As I said, it is okay. But may I ask you something very personal? You mustn't answer me. Throw me out of your apartment, if you want."
Luke looked slightly suspicious, but then nodded.
"Do you really still love Mara? After what she has done to you?"
The Jedi tensed immediately and was a step away from her a mere second later, his features hard, the smile gone.
"How do you want to know what she has done to me?" he almost barked.
Teneniel cursed inwardly. Nothing about a daring approach with Luke Skywalker. He was far too decent. But then, she should have known - he had been that way even when he hadn't been engaged, back on Dathomir.
"I don't know details, of course," she hastily explained, rising too and approaching him slowly. "But leaving you does the trick, doesn't it?" she poked gently, interested in his answer.
Luke frowned, then looked again at her. "Teneniel, what do you really want from me?" he asked frankly.
She cursed silently. Her really wasn't the inexperienced young man anymore that he had once been.
"What do you mean?" she asked, unsure of how much he guessed.
"Oh, come on, Teneniel. You've been flirting with me since we met yesterday. Don't think I haven't noticed it. I may not be a heartbreaker, but I know when a woman wants something from me."
Teneniel felt her cheeks heating up, but stared straight into his face. She took a deep breath: "Ok, Luke, I won't lie to you. Since I have seen you again yesterday, I have been feeling the same way I did all these years ago. I don't know why now. Perhaps because of the problems I have with Isolder, perhaps because I really like you more than a friend does, but it is a fact."
Luke stared at her for some time, obviously rather surprised, then smiled gently.
"And because Mara is gone, you think I'd fall into your arms immediately? I thought you'd know me better."The Dathomiri woman sighed. "I hoped, but I didn't really think you would."
"And I won't. If that's the only reason you're here, then please go now." Luke didn't sound angry, not even disappointed.
Teneniel couldn't say that of herself. Failure burned in her heart and she didn't like the feeling. It lay not in her personality, though, to just give up like that if she wanted something – or someone – really bad.
She decided to play a little bit more. She wouldn't back off just yet.
"But Luke, I really like you. It could become more - we have the same possibilities as we had seventeen years ago," she said.
Luke shook his head: "No, Teneniel. You're married and I'm married, too. I don't know about you, but I love my wife."
Teneniel bit her lower lip: "I'd lie if I told you now that I've fallen in love with you again, Luke. But," she lifted her head and looked into his azure eyes, "if I give it time, it could grow into love."
Luke looked sad for a moment, then shook his head again. "Teneniel, don't do that. Don't destroy our friendship like this. I can't give you what you want. Not even a part of it."
She smiled thinly: "I'll accept that. And I won't flirt with you anymore, if you don't want me to. But you have to answer me two questions now, and honestly."
Luke hesitated, then nodded.
"You like me and you find me attractive, correct?" she asked, carefully watching his every move.
Luke sighed softly, but nodded: "You know that I do, Teneniel. You're as beautiful as ever and I never denied that."
She nodded in contempt: "Good. Now tell me, if Mara doesn't come back, do you think you will permit yourself to love again? Will you be open for it or will you block it?"
Luke's eyes were shocked and wide when he stared at her, but she saw in them that he recognised the importance this question had to her.
Unfortunately, he couldn't give her a clear answer. "I don't know," he croaked, his mind refusing to think at the possibility of Mara never coming back that vehemently that he felt dizzy with the effort.
Teneniel nodded, rose on her tiptoes and kissed him on the cheek: "Thanks for being honest, Luke. You can expect that from me, too. I won't play anything and I will accept that you still love her." She stressed the still and was convinced that Luke noticed it. And he should. Smiling a final time, she turned and left, carefully closing the door behind her.
Luke sank back onto the couch, suddenly feeling deathly tired. Sighing deeply, he called onto the Force and slipped into a trance.
Corellia System, The Same Time
"Sir, they're retreating!" the scan officer shouted, his severely burned hand momentarily forgotten.
His captain, a big Calamarian, dubiously checked his own readings, but could only see the last coral skippers disappearing behind their flagship.
Panting and relieved, he sat back into his chair. The aliens had betrayed them - talking about ceasefire and a halt of their conquest and then attacking an unprepared system.
His Calamarian heart contracted painfully when he looked through the bulkhead. He had faced the enemy with fifteen heavy cruisers and his flagship, a Mon Calamari production. Everything left to the system now were seven cruisers and his heavily damaged ship.
The sirens roared, letting no one forget that they had suffered several hull-breaches. Force knew how many of his crew had been sucked into vacuum and drifted between burned-out starfighter wrecks.
They had driven the Yuuzhan Vong back, but they had had to pay a terrible price. It wasn't much of a relief that they had managed to destroy two cruiser analogs of the enemy and uncountable coralskippers.
"Sir?" his communications officer laid her small, human hand onto his forearm and looked into his face.
He sighed: "Contact President Organa Solo. Send her the satellite recordings, ask for immediate help and tell her that the Yuuzhan Vong have broken the truce."
The young Corellian woman, her golden hair sweat-drenched and plastered onto her head, nodded grimly.
Dathomir, The Holy River Clan Fortress
Mara leant back onto the balcony of her chamber, enjoying the tender wind and the warm air, as well as the spectacular view of the star filled sky. Behind her, in her room, a fire was burning and filling it with warmth she would be grateful for as soon as the temperatures fell. That wouldn't take long anymore, but she wanted to relish the last minutes of warmth.
Her illness was gone. It was really gone. She had sought and sought for it, in every little speck of her body, but she hadn't found anything. It hadn't just hidden, it had vanished. And the might of nature had helped her.
This brought up new mysteries of course. Obviously, the Jedi were much more connected to nature than they thought. Or at least certain ones of them were. She and Luke, that much was sure.
Luke. Mara longed for him. Rell's premonitions had made her pretty insecure and she had almost wanted to feel for him in the Force, but then she had thought better. It would startle him, worry him, because she just didn't think she was able to explain everything to him over their Force connection.
But not long now. Tomorrow, they would begin the voyage back to the Singing Mountain clan and then it would take her only a couple of days to reach Ithor. And from there, she would be only another couple of days away from her love.
She couldn't wait to fall again into his arms, to hug him, to smell him - to apologise for everything she had said. And hadn't meant.
She imagined Luke's joy when she'd tell him that she was cured, his strong arms around her, his lips, his voice. She imagined the shining of his eyes when she'd tell him that she hadn't meant it as it had sounded. That she couldn't think of anything that would make her happier than give life to his child.
Sighing dreamily, she sipped at her hot broth and smiled. She had missed him terribly. Although she had slept alone for the most part of her life, the few years with Luke had made her miss another body beside her. His body.
Mara shivered. She had missed this, too, and she looked forward to proving to him that she did want a child with him - that she did want HIM.
Only some more days. Grinning childishly, she once again turned her gaze skyward and noticed a star that shone brighter than its companions. Curious, she tried to find out which one it was, only to come up with the solution that at this point, there should be NO star.
Frowning now, she looked more attentively and sprang to her feet, almost dropping her cup over the railing, when she affirmed that the star moved!
A comet? An asteroid? Oh, that would be just typical. She had just been healed and now an asteroid dropped onto the planet she was on to finish her off. That would be just the sort of irony she expected from the universe.
Holding her breath, she followed the path of the thing.
No... no, that was no asteroid. Its fall was controlled and now became slower. At one point, its path even became horizontal.
A spacecraft, she stated. But who had a reason to come here? The witches didn't do trade with any other planet and they hadn't taken on interstellar travel. She had been the first visitor from off-planet for almost five years.
So who came here? Smugglers? Pirates?
Mara hopped onto the railing in order to not loose the speck and continued following its voyage with her eyes.
No. Dathomir was no place for people like that. The witches didn't like such scum and kept them away effectively.
So, who would want to... With a sudden insight, Mara threw her Force senses out into the direction of the vessel and sought.
She felt - absolutely nothing. Grim faced, she hopped back onto the balcony, crossed her arms and tried to memorise the vector of the ship.
Times would become interesting, no doubt. Engagements with Yuuzhan Vong always proved interesting.