Soul’s Trial – Book 1

 

Jedi Dawn – Chapter 2

 

By Sienn

(2001)

 

Rating (for chapter):  PG-13

Protagonists: Luke/Mara

Category: Drama/Action/Angst

 

Spoilers:

"Vector Prime", "Dark Tide I: Onslaught", "Dark Tide II: Ruin", "The Courtship of Princess Leia"

 

Time Frame:

Approximately 25 years after the Battle of Yavin IV

 

Disclaimer:

STAR WARS and all characters created therein belong to George Lucas and I do not lay claim on them, nor do I make money with this story. If you want to see a list of original characters, weapons, names and procedures I created, please check out the appendix at the end of the book.

 

Ralroost, Captain's Quarters, 3 Hours after the Battle of Ithor

"I still can't believe what your brother has done, Your Highness. I never imagined the power he can summon." Traest Kre'fey, never a being for formal chitchat, bowed respectfully in front of Leia Organa Solo and gazed over to the bodyform couch.

Luke Skywalker lay seemingly deeply asleep, but unnaturally pale and still. It took Traest over a minute to confirm that the human was actually breathing.

The Alderaanian princess smiled faintly: "I think no one could, Admiral. Not even I would have thought this possible."

Although not very familiar with the body language of human beings, Traest noted the somewhat haunted look in the female's eyes, directed straight at her brother's unmoving form.

"Excuse me, Ambassador, but wouldn't it be wiser to send for a medic? I'm sure that we can arrange for anonymity some way or the other. I would even offer my personal medic droid."

This time, Organa Solo's smile was genuine and broad.

"Thank you, Traest. I appreciate your concern. But my brother is all right."

"But, Leia, he..."

"He is currently in a Jedi healing trance. Even as we watch, he's gaining his strength back. You don't have to worry about him."

"If you say so, Your Highness, then I'll have to trust you. I hope you understand me; I don't want to be blunt. Your brother saved the New Republic from a hopeless future and I just want to make sure he's fine - we owe him our lives."

A low sigh let the both of them, woman and Bothan, turn around to the bodyform couch.

Luke Skywalker's eyes were open and now looked straight at them.

The Bothan went over to the Jedi Master and grasped one of his hands in his furry paws.

"Master Skywalker, I want you to know that I'm eternally grateful for what you did. You saved not only my men, but also Ithor and probably the whole galaxy from certain doom. I always held you in high regard, but I only now see what an exceptional being you really are. I'd be honoured if you stayed here in my quarters for as long as you wish."

Skywalker simply sat up and stared at the admiral, trying to find words to answer. Nothing came from his lips.

Alarmed, Leia went over to her brother, slid beside him onto the couch and laid an arm around his shoulders.

"Luke? Are you alright?" she took his free hand into her own, startled to feel how cold it was. He gazed at her, eyes wide and shocked, then stared again at the Bothan's hands holding his own.

"I destroyed them all?" he asked softly.

The alien's face lit up in an admiring smile, but Leia couldn't bring herself to such a reaction. Luke's voice sounded different. Absent, irritated - scared. *Luke? * She asked tentatively over their bond in the Force, furrowing her forehead in worry when no reply came from him.

"Almost, Jedi Master. The command ship and several smaller vessels managed to escape and we took one coralskipper and its pilot alive. The rest of their fleet has been completely destroyed. And we owe this to you - you and the Jedi. This debt will never be repaid."

"Thank you." Luke whispered as he rose and went over to the small bulkhead, showing the planet Ithor slowly rotating on its axis.

His hand slipped out of Leia's grasp as a non-living piece of stone would have done and finally, even Traest seemed to recognise that something was wrong. The Bothan cleared his throat.

"I think I will leave the both of you alone. You are certainly tired. As I said, feel free to stay as long as you want. Princess Leia, Master Skywalker." He bowed deeply once again and vanished without another word.

It was quiet in the room for some moments. Leia hoped her brother would say something or turn around to look at her, but he did nothing of this sort. He merely stood, staring down at the planet.

Worried, Leia joined him, taking his left hand into her own, frightened by the lack of reaction from him.

"Luke?"

He didn't even look at her when she said his name.

*Luke! Come back to me! *

The mental shout sent him a step away from her, gazing at her in wide-eyed fear and panic. Leia began to get a very bad feeling about the situation and was careful not to scare him any more when she took a step toward him.

"Luke, tell me what's wrong." She demanded in a tender voice.

"I… I just killed over five thousand beings. I just killed them. And Ithor ----" he stopped, staring once againn at the black scars that marred the otherwise green continents of the once peaceful planet. All around it, battle debris was floating; burning wrecks, ugly crippled corpses - through the Force and the eyes of a man like Luke, it had to be a picture of horror.

Since the destruction of Alderaan, Leia had lost the ability to become so utterly confused and shocked - even faced with incredible pain and numerous deaths.

But although her brother, her dear brother, had seen so much in his life, had fought so hard and lost so much, he had always been the purest being she had ever encountered. Violence, death - these things were deeply troubling for him and the fact that he had caused them himself this time had to be downright disastrous for his soul.

"I killed them all," Luke whispered. The shivers returned as his eyes were transfixed on the bulkhead and the space beyond it.

"Luke, you had no choice. If you hadn't done it, we all would've died and the Yuuzhan Vong would have overrun the entire galaxy. Millions of innocent beings would have been killed." She assured him quietly, tentatively touching his forearm.

Luke's gaze shot at her hand, unbelieving and insecure, and Leia began to see that her fears had come true. For all the pain and distress this war had brought to his body, his heart and soul had been assaulted even more.

"You... you touch me." He murmured, sounding so irritated and startled that Leia felt as if her heart could break any moment. "I'm a murderer… "

"No," she interrupted him softly but firmly. "Luke, you're not. You've saved billions of lives. You're no murderer."

"But they're all dead - I killed them all with my thoughts. I..." he stammered, retreating from the small window and deeper into the shadows of the room.

"Luke, you are NO murderer. Do you hear me? You didn't MURDER anyone. You defended your galaxy, your people - INNOCENT people. A Jedi can't let innocent people be butchered, can he?"

"Innocent… no…. A Jedi has to defend the innocent and the helpless." Luke sought her eyes, obviously unsure and even more startled than before.

"Absolutely right. So you did what was necessary. No one blames you for anything."

Leia made another step toward him and this time, Luke didn't shy away. That was no relief to her, though, as it seemed to result out of complete irritation only.

She slowly laid her arms around him and pressed him gently against herself. She felt him tremble and knew, even before he actually blurted it out, what was going to be his next word.

"Mara!"

It was a desperate cry, filled with the strong sense of betrayal, longing and the feeling of not understanding anything that happened.

"She's gone!" he cried, burying his head at her shoulder, shaking and sobbing violently. But within seconds he freed himself from her tight grasp and stumbled away from her.

His eyes wandered around the room, as if searching for something - or someone. Then he turned towards the door.

"I've got to talk to her. I've got to find her and talk to her," He mumbled.

Leia swallowed hard, fighting down the urge to cry, and followed him carefully.

Luke's appearance hurt her deep in her heart. He stood in the middle of the room, still pale, with eyes red-rimmed and his hair in total disorder from his trance and gazed around unfocused, his arms tightly wrapped around himself.

"Luke…"She said quietly, taking his arm and guiding him back toward the bodyform couch.

"Got to find Mara." He repeated, his voice clearly showing that he didn't realise any longer where he was or who was leading him to the couch, forcing him gently to lie down.

Leia pushed the hair out of his forehead and knelt down. Taking his hand into hers, softly caressing the trembling fingers, she whispered, "Try to sleep, Luke. Everything will be all right again, dear brother. Everything."

She bent forward and planted a light kiss on his lips – steadily moving lips that repeated one and the same over and over again. "Got to find Mara."

"Sh…" she whispered compassionately, startling him as she put her hand firmly over his mouth. For this, she received a look she knew she would see in her dreams.

There was not a trace of the Jedi Master in these pure, blue eyes, so wide with fear, helplessness and self-hatred.

She held her hand firmly in place while she lay down beside him, then released him only to cradle him in her arms, stroking his hair and sending soothing thoughts of love and peace into his soul.

His azure eyes met once again with hers, giving the impression of a little, frightened child rather than the one of a distraught Jedi Master.

"Got to find Mara." He said again, curling up into a ball and leaning into Leia's embrace.

While Luke continued to mumble softly to himself and occasionally convulsed and twitched uncontrollably, Leia reached over him and pressed the button of the commlink built into the console beside the couch.

"3PO?"

"Yes, Your Highness?"

"Please call for a medic - accept Kre'fey's offer and get his personal 2-1B droid. It shall prepare itself to treat a shock patient."

"Why, of course, Princess Leia. Poor Master Luke! I'd never have thought Mistress Mara to be so cruel and leave…."

"3PO, please. Just get the 2-1B." Leia interrupted the protocol droid tiredly.

"And check whether any of our friends or family is currently aboard the Ralroost. Ask them to come here if you find them." She added as an afterthought and, without waiting for 3PO's confirmation, cut the link.

*~~

 

Corran Horn and Kre'fey's personal medic droid arrived at the same time, the Jedi sinking baffled and somewhat horrified into the chair 3PO had brought into the room, the 2-1B immediately attending to Luke who had stopped mumbling.

Instead, his body shook with steady convulsions and it became obvious by Corran's pain-filled eyes that Leia wasn't the only one to receive the ripples of pure mental agony radiating from her brother.

It took the droid only three minutes to state in his cool, unemotional voice that the patient had suffered an acute nervous breakdown, due to extreme physical and psychological exhaustion.

After an affirmative nod from Leia, it took only another minute to prepare an infusion and give Luke a sedative. Mere seconds later, the Jedi Master became still and his arm slipped lifelessly from the droid's own body extension.

Although the 2-1B seemed eager to explain every single symptom of a nervous breakdown, 3PO, for the first time in his life catching on the moment's sadness, guided him out of the room, not without glancing one final time at Luke and muttering something about locating R2 as soon as possible.

Once alone with Corran and her now peacefully sleeping brother, Leia practically fell into the chair opposite the Jedi, suddenly near to tears.

The silence was long and uncomfortable, but neither of them quite knew how to begin such a conversation.

Finally, Corran cleared his throat.

"We heard rumours that Luke destroyed the enemy fleet single-handedly. And we felt a stirring in the Force - I can only describe it as exceptional. Is it true, Princess? Did Luke do this?"

Leia nodded glumly: "It is true, Corran. He did it alone. I've never seen him wield such power. If I hadn't seen it for myself, I would've never believed such a thing possible."

"I understand." Horn murmured, though his expression clearly showed the contrary.

"Mara left." Leia blurted out after some more minutes of silence. She had to talk to someone. To see her brother in a condition like this, her beloved Luke, felt as if someone had cut her heart into neat little pieces. She longed for Han's embrace right now, someone to lean on, and was angry with him for not being there for her - and for Luke.

Corran's green eyes narrowed, a sudden understanding dawning in them.

"When?" He asked, his tone slightly changing to the one he always assumed when falling back into his famous CorSec manners.

"Before the battle started. She took the Jade Sabre and vanished without a trace."

Leia felt hollow when she leaned back and stared at Ithor as continued its path behind Corran's head, not influenced by the fates of the humans and aliens who had fought and died around it.

"So that's why he broke down." The Corellian stated, throwing an even more compassionate gaze toward Luke's sleeping form.

"Partly. His use of the Force was not only an ordeal for his body, though. It shattered his soul, shattered it badly." She paused, breathing deeply, then added, "He considers himself a murderer, a butcher, everything we call the Yuuzhan Vong for their actions. He feels betrayed by Mara and doesn't know why she went away."

Corran nodded, his brown hair bobbing up and down in front of his eyes, "I can feel his loneliness and his despair. Did they have an argument before Mara left?"

Leia had to smile unintentionally. Already now Corran was beginning to investigate, to search for reasons. It was as inherent to him as his need to help friends. It gave her hope that her brother had allies like him to support him.

"I don't think so. Luke just told me that Mara said she couldn't stand his constant worry anymore."

Corran snorted. "I really like and respect Mara, Ambassador, but I doubt she has ever fully understood what she demanded of Luke by forbidding him to worry about her. For me, that sounds like a feeble excuse for her true reasons."

Leia considered this some moments and nodded hesitantly. "You could be right, Corran. I never actually saw him worry about her openly. She didn't allow this a bit. But we can only be sure about that after speaking to her - or to Luke."

Corran glanced again at the Jedi Master. "That could take some time," he murmured.

Leia forced a smile. "It could. Corran, would you please stay here with Luke? I have to contact Han. He has to come here. Luke needs him."

"Of course I'll stay. Don't worry, Your Highness, I'll take care of him."

Leia smiled, this time genuinely, and vanished.

*~~

The communication room had been emptied for her, so she could be alone and talk privately to her husband who was currently on Coruscant. Although they had parted in the middle of another argument, she really looked forward to seeing him again and talking to him.

Thus, she almost fumed when no one answered her call. She would have to record the message and hope Han cared enough to check the message box some time in the future.

Naturally her message was all but kind. She gave him a summary of Luke's condition with the plea to come to Ithor as soon as he could.

When she severed the link to her home, she was surprised to see a blinking, red light indicating that someone was calling her from Coruscant.

Well, if that was Han, she would consider forgiving him.

To her utter surprise, though, the head of former Chief-of-State Mon Mothma appeared. The elder woman gently smiled at Leia.

"Greetings, Leia."

"Mon Mothma! What can I do for you?"

Mothma grew serious. "I don’t have much time, Leia. Ever since we heard about Ithor an hour ago, the Senate has been pretty busy. I thought you'd find it interesting that there's been word of a vote-of-no-confidence in Fey'lya."

Leia's eyes widened and she could not suppress a satisfied, little grin. "Well, they seem to finally get some brains working." She simply said.

Mon Mothma smirked. "You could say that. Anyway, the near-disaster at Ithor is blamed on Borsk and I think he and his fellow Jedi-haters will have a bad stand with everyone here in the future."

"That’s the first good news for today. But why did you want to tell me this personally? I'd have learned about it soon enough."

Leia frowned when her counterpart became serious again.

"I just wanted to warn you."

"Warn me?"

"Yes. If they succeed and Fey'lya has to step down, they will press you to come back. They have already silently elected you to replace him, once the formalities are taken care of."

Silence.

"I must go now, Leia. Take care." The line was cut and left Leia dumbfounded.

To Be Continued

 

 

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